Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Road Map

I realized tonight that I have been MIA for quite a while. Yet, here I am again. I am sitting in the semi-dark. My Christmas tree is lit, and the small lights over my counter are on. It's cold outside, but warm in. I have done many things tonight, basically involving everything but the things that I really need to do. But, tomorrow is Friday, and the weekend is coming, opening its arms welcoming me in, and I am ready.

I have a couple of friends that I have acquired in Illinois who have taught me about "The Drive." Let me quickly explain.
You get in your car. You may or may not call your friends and say you have five minutes to be ready and jump in the car. Then you drive.

The Drive comes with rules:
1. Don't ask questions. For example, "Where are we going?"Not allowed. Neither is, "When are we going back?" or "what are we doing next?" Depending on who you are with, "I'm hot/cold, it's too windy" is also questionable.
2. Bring music, just in case you and your driving buddies need to sing.
3. Just gotta roll. Bring a jacket. Or a sweater. The person who is driving is in charge. If the driver decides to roll down the window, and blare the heat, go with it.
4. Sit back and relax. Whether you are driving or riding, you should enjoy the ride. Enjoy the scenery. Talk. Laugh. Cry.
5. When you end up back where you started from you should feel better, lighter, calmer, and even happier than when you first headed out.

I am terrible at "The drive." I make an excellent passenger, but when it comes to being the driver I am awful. I have a need to know where to go next, where to turn, when's the stop light, what's the speed limit.... I could go on of course. I slide in, sit behind the wheel, and grip it tightly, afraid to just go. I need a map. My other friends who are experts at the drive do not need a map. They just drive. We have been lost quite often, but we always return whole and safe and well.

Life is not always as easy as the drive. I can look outside, and plan into tomorrow. I can decide when I'm going on vacation, and where, but the bends in the road, the storms, the hills, well I just quite frankly cannot see them. I want a map. I sit behind the wheel, and I grip tightly, anxious to know where I'm going, what will happen next. There is no map for life, though. Sometimes I believe that God is waiting for me to slide over to the passenger seat, lean back, and enjoy The Drive.

Overall, I think it's been a pretty good one.

Proverbs 3:5-7
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Re-potting of Blanche

Not being a "green-thumb" type, I'm not sure if "re-potting" is actually a word, but I'm using it anyways. I have fallen in love (I believe it is possible) with my beautiful Ficus, which was given to me over a year ago. Blanche has graced my desk at work with her presence since she arrived in my life, and she has grown. New leaves have sprung up and she stretches taller than she did a year ago.

A week ago I realized my beautiful plant was out growing her pot. Her roots, not able to push down, were pushing upward, out of the dirt. She has had no where to grow. Today, I ran errands, enjoying a middle of the week day off, and I went and found a new pot for my plant. Armed with dirt, I attempted to do what I had never done before and move Blanche from one pot to a new pot, thus the "re-pot" comes in to play.

As I carefully removed Blanche from her old home, to move to her new, I found exactly what I had expected to find. Her roots were all bunched up tight, unable to move, unable to grown. Following the directions, I planted her safely in her new home, where I expect she'll have more room to grow.

It struck me as I was moving her, that she has been trapped in a tight area, not able to grow. She has had no choice. At the same time, I realized I trap myself. I wrap myself up tight, and while maybe safe, I have no where to grow. I don't allow God to move in me. Moving to a new place is scary. I've done it. It's unnerving, going where you don't know, moving to a place with which you are unfamiliar. I don't only mean moving physically. There's more than that. There is the surrender, saying to God, I have no idea what you want with me, but I'm open. I don't know who you want me to be, or where you want me to go, or do, but I'm open.

It feels safer doing the same routine day in and day out. Reading the same verses, seeing the same friends, doing what is familiar, but then there is the beauty of risk, the beautiful potential that surrounds every day when I walk out my door. I can continue to do what I have always done, and continue to get what I've always got, or I can become something bigger. Grow somewhere newer.

Today, that is my prayer. That I will be open to God moving in my life. Open to Him challenging me to be a light.

Time to stretch my roots.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Not Me Mondays

I am not practicing procrastination at it's finest.
Nope, not me!

I do not have laundry that I need to do. I do not dread hauling it down to the laundry room.
I do not need to dust.
I do not need to unpack from my weekend trip.
Not me!

I do not have two, count them TWO assignments left to finish for school.
I am not setting a bad example for America's children.
They are not the very same TWO assignments I had left to finish a week ago.
I am not writing on my blog avoiding the assignments.
Uh, uh, Not me!

I am not sitting in the dark, on my bed singing.
I am not listening to the same song over and over, warming up my vocal cords. That would make no sense.
Nope, NOT ME!

Check out my friend Jenilee's blog for more Not Me Mondays!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

October- The Month of Heath and Wellness

While you may not find any record of October being the month of Health, my coworker and I have decided that is what it is going to be for us!
What does that mean?
  1. Going to bed in a timely manner. (Me going to bed at 12:30 every night- not a good idea.)
  2. Less caffeine. This one will be challenging. See number one. I have been surviving on number two.
  3. Lots and lots of water.
  4. Exercising.
  5. A little chocolate every day. Before you contradict me, saying that this one will only cause a detour on my route to health and wellness, this one is essential. Essential for all those who see me every day. A little chocolate goes a long way in keeping my sanity.
I'll be finishing up with my term for school in around a week. This last term has been full of no tests, but approximately twenty short papers... And only two to go! I am look forward to the short break that I will have until November 1st. Then it's back to work!

During my break I have a few things planned, right along with rest, relaxation, and cleaning. Along with that there will be cookies for work, piano for me, and Christmas presents to finish and buy. I am determined to start and finish my shopping early this year!

A final note:

A ship captain was on his ship when a storm rolled in. His family was with him, and as the waves rolled in and the boat rocked, his wife came to him, crying in terror.
"Why are you not afraid of the storm?!" she exclaimed.
The captain drew his sword and held it close to his wife's chest. He asked her, "Are you not afraid?"
"Why?" he asked.
"Well, I know the one who holds the sword."
He responded, "I know the one who holds the storm."
Adapted from a commentary

It is easy so many times to look at the waves, at the storm, and forget the one who holds the storm in his hands. I am guilty at looking at a situation and giving up. Laying in bed, covers over my head, shivering in terror. The reality is, as long as I look at the one who is holding the storm, and not the storm itself, I will make it through.

Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in

There are times when things are scary. There are wars, and storms. There is sickness, and even death. These are things that make me anxious. At times I feel as though there is nothing that can keep me safe. God, and only God provides the peace inside my heart. That peace allows me to trust that despite the waves, despite the holes in my boat, despite my circumstances, I will come through the other side.
God can do the same for you.

Make tomorrow beautiful. Love to you all,

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I have become an "Air Quoter"...

...Save me from myself.

On to other news.

1) I feel like I've spent the last four months playing catch up. Between my mini weekend trips to Iowa, Indiana, and Missouri, my vacation to Nebraska, work and school, I feel like I've been a constant step behind the whole summer. It has been a fun summer, but it's been fast! When I take the time to actually sit and breathe deep and look back I realize I have enjoyed myself. Now, I'm catching up, cleaning, laundry and cleaning some more, and even though I personally do not follow the September to May schedule, whenever "school starts" I feel like life starts slowly moving back in order.

2) My cousin took some awesome pictures on his trip to Europe last summer, and he gave me a few for my place. I just found great frames and now have them strategically around my living room. When I look at them I am so amazed and impressed with my cousin! You are amazing Jake!

3) My planner. Ask me and I know what I'm doing in a week. I know what is happening on September 3rd (nothing). I know what day Christmas is, and I have a vacation planned in January of 2010. I carry my schedule planner with me every where I go, and yet, I write nothing down. Today I have determined that if I am going to carry it with me, I'm going to fill it out. It might make more sense for me to just stop carrying it around, but it never fails that I need it when I don't have it. I'm gonna keep it in my bag. Tonight I will write in it.

4) I have had a goal for the last few years to read 12 books a year. It has been challenging when I am trying to read school books at the same time. I am falling super short in my goal this year. But, I have a stack of new, sweet smell like books books, and four months to finish reading to my goal.

5) A year ago I was an avid blogger. Granted for a part of that time I was in Charlotte with limited responsibilities. Now again, life, as I mentioned before, is in full swing. I have made it another goal to write at least once a week. Here's a post to toast to that goal.

6) My dear friend Jenilee wrote about how she has been busy working in her busy home, taking care of three girls (and a husband who collects bugs). Despite how busy she has been there is a truth that she clings to, and I am reminded of that today. It can be so easy to lose track and get lost in the middle of insanity and chaos. It can be easy to look at the storm, at the winds, at the waves. That's easy. What is harder is to look to the one who created the storms, the winds, the waves. It's harder to trust. It's harder to let go. It's first. But then, there's peace. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Take the first step. Look to God for the peace you have been missing.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My summer in a photograph

Going in all different directions, a little craziness, somewhat strange, and fun all at the same time!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

And just how do you think this is gonna work???

I just bought a new mattress. Monday night it was delivered. I would like to say, I TOTALLY love it!

So, the big question has been, how do you get a mattress up into your room, using those stairs?!
The answer- you don't!

Yup, they sent it up, OVER the balcony! They were pretty quick too! I'm just glad I wasn't responsible for shooting the mattress up. Otherwise, I'd be sleeping on the patio outside my apartment!

Monday, August 10, 2009

How do you pause this thing?

If only life had a pause button. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause moments in our life, and just have the ability to sit and enjoy? I'd have paused the night it snowed, as the world became a snow globe around me; I'd pause the night my family and I were huddled together in my parent's living room, watching movies and eating popcorn until late at night; I would pause the time I jumped from the cliff and remain motionless above the water, for seconds longer; I would pause the times I laugh with my friends, and laugh and laugh; I'd pause...and pause...and pause....STOP.

Why is it that sadness causes all of to reevaluate our lives and our actions? Why is it that it takes some act of sorrow to cause us to make a change? Why can we not wake up every morning, determining to live as though this day, this one day, is all we have? Why don't we decide in the morning, this is what I must do, this is who I must love, this is where I must go. Why do we instead, lay in bed and say, oops maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll do that; maybe tomorrow I will love; maybe tomorrow I'll go there. What happened to today? It is given to us just once, and we either choose to embrace it, or let it lie, wishing it away, waiting for tomorrow because, well, because... tomorrow will be better?

We could at the same time try to pause our, try to stop time. That doesn't work either. We are left instead with the choice to take every moment and breathe every breath as though it's the last. No looking back. No crying for yesterday. No wasting today, wishing for tomorrow.

So tonight, I plan on going to sleep on my brand new bed, and enjoy it. It's the first new night, and the last first night. Tonight, I'll do my homework and exercise. Talk to my friends. Talk to my family. Tell them I love them. Get ready for tomorrow. And probably sing while doing the dishes. But I won't waste time crying for yesterday. And I won't miss out on the moments I have today waiting for tomorrow. No time for pausing.

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
~Chinese Proverb

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Wednesdays Walk- On a Thursday

A Walk on a Wednesday-Er make that Thursday

This summer has been wonderful as a whole, busy but great. I have found myself taking trips all over the mid west and I have learned multiple things about myself:
  1. I love my friends. The last few months I have met up with so many of my friends from school (elementary- middle- high) and college. Friends make us who we are. After seeing these friends that I grew up with, I have found that they are responsible for helping me to be who I am..... all good of course, all good.
  2. I love fields of country. I love the hills of corn and they way that they sound when the wind blows through them. I love how in the evening, on a warm day, the fireflies light up and swim in the air above the field. These days, city may be in my heart, but country will always be in my soul.
  3. I love being home. When I first moved out on my own, I thought I'd go stir crazy. I could not imagine spending time with myself, and enjoying it, butI do. Whether it be after a long trip or a short day, I love coming home.
On my recent journeys I found myself taking many pictures. Here's some of my faves:

Indiana--- Guess where this is!?!
On the road to Missouri


Iowa: Illinois:
On to other news, homework. I find it funny to say that I have homework. Seeing as I'm going to school online, there's really no other way to say it.

I must admit, it is a challenge to be going to school and working. Some days I feel as though I cannot put any more information in my head. I do, however, enjoy it. I love learning, and I am excited about where I am headed!

Lastly, I have been rather on the crafty side. Fortunately, I feel like I have good reason seeing as I am studying to be an elementary school teacher, I'll have plenty of reasons to use my weird creativeness! Here are some of my projects:

My two little friends Hayley and Megan came over one day and we made bags and bracelets.
Note how large this bag looks on the shoulder of the beautiful girl in the picture? Marketing ploy. It was NOT that big! We were shocked, but it was still fun designing a bag!

My Mosaic Garden stone:
I have plans to make a mosaic table. I wanted to practice and see how difficult it was. I must say, it wasn't difficult at all!

On a final note, when I would talk to the kids in children's church, we would talk about the blessings, or the good things that God has given us. Sometimes it is so easy to forget all of the great things that God has given me. (If you had seen me last week you would know what I'm saying) But I know that I have a place to live, and food to eat. I have clothes, water, friends and family. I should remember to be thankful every day rather than dwell on the "woes" and the difficulties that life can throw.

What do you have to be thankful for today?

Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

To the Moon...

In my mind there have always been these "careers" that sounded something more like dreams than reality. For example, being an astronaut. At one point, the thought of floating around in space in a small area terrified me. Then I saw Space Camp (keep in mind I was probably only seven) and I changed my mind. From then on, even to this day, I can understand the desire and the draw that people have to go "where no man has gone before." I can look up in the sky, then close my eyes and literally feel the need to travel up to the moon, to explore and to understand what is beyond.

On to California where I met this group of people who had a fascination with standing on the top of tall cliffs-right on the edge. I was amazed because I was terrified by the thought of climbing a cliff let alone dancing on the edge where the wind could blow me off with one swift gust. I thought I understood the draw or the desire to climb and to be high enough to see the world, but then I read, Into Thin Air, and I knew that there was something else beyond what I myself knew or understood. The small measly 120 foot cliff I repealed down is nothing compared to what others have done, and need to do. (You dare devils- you know who you are... you amaze me and I am mesmerized by what you are able to do)

Here I am now, sitting in my apartment writing papers, reading books and studying (okay at the moment I'm taking a little break) for what I have a need to do. I know that compared to going to the moon, climbing a mountain, teaching is not a glorious, amazing, throw a parade type of profession, but for me, there has always been a desire, an overwhelming need to teach. I believe that this is an honor, and a need that God placed deep inside my heart so long ago. Despite the late nights, the books, the reading, the papers, when I look down to the end of the road, I can see exactly where I'm going.

For me, I have found, I might as well be going to the moon...

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Saturday, June 13, 2009

A Box of Bandaids and An Ear

The wounds we encounter as a child, well, those of you with children, around children, or who were once children know, usually they are wounds we create by our own doing. For example, at about seven years old I decided (and I don't know why) that it would be the best idea to tie my shoe at the top of the stairs. Not only did I decide to tie my shoes at the top of the stairs, I decided that I would do so by lying down and sticking my feet in the air. At that same time my brother decided to go down the stairs. (In hindsight, I might have decided to tie my shoes there on purpose, possibly to prevent him from going down there- but who knows, it was a long time ago.)
As I laid on the floor my brother moved his little four year old legs over my head, and he tripped...and fell down the stairs. We both ran crying to my mom. My brother was wounded from having fallen down an entire flight of stairs, and my ear was bright red. My brother, as I told my mother, "tripped over my ear." Yes, he had tripped over my ear. It was red wasn't it?
Another time, in kindergarten, some boy and his "posse" ran after me and he kicked me in the head. I came home with a black eye. My mom and my aunts wisely told me that it was because he liked me. How fascinating. If only some boy would run after me and kick me in the head now....(kidding, kidding).
Ah, the joys of childhood drama...
There are other wounds that we encountered. Not physical, but inside. Kids are brutal. There are nicknames given, and not always fun loving names. (I also know this by experience.) At that point we learn the classic phrase, "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." If only that were true.
We carry hurts with us even as grown ups. I still, on occasion trip (but that's rare- you could call me Grace).... my ribs are still sore today. I also burned my forehead with a curling iron and one time almost got stuck on my stair case....okay maybe I'm not named Grace on purpose.
I know, you know, we all know, a broken bone sometimes heals over time much quicker than the hurt caused by a harshly spoken word. Slap on a Bugs Bunny or a Pretty Pretty Princess bandaid and the world is all better. They don't make bandaids for hearts though. As of late, I have been reminded of this very fact . The fact that words can and do cause hurt and pain.
What I don't know is how it happens, how a word can cause someone to feel so fragile.
I have begun to look again at my own self, my own mouth and determine what things have been coming out. I have found that it is true that what is in my heart, will come out of my mouth, and I don't want to be the cause of someone else's pain. But, on my own, I am no good. Left to my own devices, not only can I not walk a straight line, I cannot speak kindly to everyone. It is impossible, on my own. I have found that I must rely on God to help me. Not only do I need His help to guard my own heart from the hurts caused by others, but I need his strength to prevent me causing hurt.

Jeff Deyo, in his song, "Keep My Heart," says:

I don't know if I told you
How I long for your heart
I've just got to be like you
I've just got to be yours

That is my prayer.

So tonight while I go to sleep I will pray that I am made more like Jesus and that when I awake I will be closer to being like Him. I will also pray that my heart will be stronger and that I will not be hurt so easily knowing that others also speak out of hurt.

And, at the same time, I am going to try to find a bandaid, just for fun.

Love and sweet dreams to all,

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

46 Lessons of Life

Received from an email!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion, today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Like driving, slow down, look both ways and yield a little. You do not always have to be first.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift
46. Do a good deed everyday. Open a door, remember to say "thank you", smile, let someone in your lane of traffic. You may not know what effect it will have on them but it will make you feel better about yourself.

Make today beautiful!


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Reading, Writing and 'Rithmetic

Back to school!

I am back to school after a month off. I will say that the first year as a new old student has had it's challenges. It definitely has been a new experience!
It's completely different this time around for many reasons.
  • For one, I'm not living in a dorm.
  • Secondly, I'm doing "learning" thing online. My school is in another state. My teacher is myself, and my books are mainly online.
  • I work full time.
  • I don't live in a dorm. I don't have 40 other crazy girls living in the same hallway with me.
The thing is, despite the differences, despite how much work it is, despite the stress, despite all of the differences I love doing what I'm doing now. I love being a student again and learning. AND I am excited about the direction that I am going.

Things I will keep in mind this year back to school:
  • Staying up late + Getting up early= Cranky Stephanie. I need to go to bed earlier (and sleep longer, hahaha!)
  • Worry incessantly about whether or not you passed a test is not a good way for a person to spend the weekend. Plus, I'm pretty sure worrying can cause ulcers. It can also cause violence. I have been threatened that the next time I say I failed a test I will be beaten. This next time around I will do not say anything about failing. I cannot guarantee that I won't think it, but if I don't say it, that's at least a start, right?
  • The Nez Perce tribe is from the Pacific Northwest. I don't know why I need to remember that, but I apparently, months later, still do.

Other news:
  • I have signed up to help my new church in the children's department. It's a scary thought, and I'm nervous, but at the same time I am really excited again at the thought of working with the kids.
  • No, my floor in my apartment is not completed. Yes, my stove is on my counter top. No, I've not had a tantrum again. Yes, I will be glad when it's done. In the words of my friend Karen, "In light of everything, this is a small thing."
  • This weekend I'll be headed to the land of my Alma Mater. Of course, my real purpose in driving to Missouri involve my friends who at one point asked me to be their friend "Til death do we part!" (I said yes of course!)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A Grown Up Tantrum and A New Perspective

The saga began a little over three weeks ago. To make it simple, my water heater grew a leak which grew a puddle- which grew a bigger puddle- which grew to ruin the entire floor in the downstairs of my apartment- which grew to a brand new water heater. Whew. Quite the saga.

That series of events took my down quite the road which led me down a path of, frustration, anger, a friend's house, a few nights in a hotel, anger, much yelling, and finally, acceptance.

I am no longer afraid to admit that I am a home body. I have not always been this way, but rather have grown into this person over the last few years. I have in the past enjoyed being gone all day, going on trips, staying in hotels, with friends, away, away, away. But now, I love the solace of being home. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy seeing friends, and going places, but at the end of the day, I enjoy my home.

Last Sunday, I arrived at my apartment, fully expecting to be able to go in and settle in for a peaceful evening. I was wrong. And then the tantrum happened.
The tantrum thrower: Me
The location: My car
Why was there a tantrum: I wanted to be home. My home. My apartment. My TV. My shower. My bed. Mine. Mine. Mine. And yet, there was no going home.
What did the tantrum involve: Yelling and yelling. Aimless Driving. Yelling. Feet stomping and Fists pounding the floor--- (Well I exaggerated that last part. I was driving after all.)

Then I was hit with some more unpleasant news. I had no choice. I would not be getting what I wanted. Of course, I had to calm down. And quickly. When you are three you don't worry about blood pressure, but when you are in double digits and you are operating heavy machinery, it's best to remain calm.

It was in the following few minutes that I had to make a decision. I had help getting to that point. Someone quickly, yet wisely told me (yes my mom), "Stephanie, you don't have a choice. You do not get what you want."

Have any of you ever tried to reason with a three year old? Now, I'm not a mother, but as a friend, and a childrens' pastor, and someone who's been around children my whole life, I have. I have tried to reason with a child, an elementary school child, even teenagers. However, I learned over time, that reasoning doesn't really work unless the person wants to be reasoned with. How many three-year-olds really care why they cannot have what they don't want? That'd be zero.

I, being (forceably, mind you, not by choice) a grown up, have the ability to listen to reason and make choices. And while, I did not really care why, I could not have what I wanted, I had to decide to accept what was being handed to me. I knew that I had to accept my circumstances. No amount of yelling and wailing, moaning and sighing would get the work in my apartment done any quicker.

Isaiah 26:3 says, "The LORD gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm." (CEV) Some may consider it strange that I clung to the words in that vese just because of a small apartment issue. But, I did cling to these words because as I was driving down the road, peace was no where near my passenger seat, and I really needed to find it!

I was reminded again when I spoke to one of my friends who recently lost her home to a fire. She and her husband lost everything, save but a few items. The words she spoke to me have stuck with me and I have played them over and over in my mind since she said them.
"Stephanie, we lost our possessions, our computers, tvs, clothes, all of our possessions, but I know that God will take care of us...I know that He has a plan for my life, and I'm excited."

Makes a cement floor and a stove displaced upon a counter top not really all that important, don't ya think?
Love you all,

Monday, May 18, 2009

From the Archives

Once again I found some writing from my high school creative writing course- It reminds me of summer.

A Woman Beautiful
Sat admiring
The beauty of the sun's rays
While on the grass below a man watched
The lovely lady smiling at the beauty
Of the wondrous sight in front of her,
And the man longed to whisk her
Away from the world
To love her
Through all
SRH, September 21, 1995

Monday, May 04, 2009

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Blogging Sabatical

I have been MIA for a month now. I thought that during this month off of school I would avoid, as much as possible, spending hours and hours on the computer. Soon enough, May 4th to be exact, I will begin the daily life of a college student-- while the life of a college student who doesn't live in a dorm, go to classes, or receive care packages from home. (Although.... I still enjoy fresh baked goods and fun surprises in my mailbox- if you would like to send me a package let me know! I'll send you my address!)

What have I been doing over the last month? Let me tell you.

(Looks like I missed a spot!)
Washing windows
Oh- yeah washing walls and squishing water out from under my floor boards.


Playing piano
Practicing sign language
Making cards

Friends and Family:
On the phone
In Indiana
In Illinois
(This is my mom doing her famous trick. Yes, I do think it's cool, but I can't take her anywhere! And I really wanna understand how it works!)

Birthday parties

Next up -in four days- it'll be BACK to the BOOKS! Don't let that scare you. For those of you who know how wack-o I went during this last term, I'm pretty sure that won't happen again. I will NOT be taking 18 credits again, but rather sticking to 12. I also have trips planned, movies to see, dinners to attend, songs to get the picture.
I think I'm ready!