Monday, March 28, 2011

Sticks and Stones...

March, oh dear March. You are almost over, and I clearly did not meet my blogging goal.


However, there is still today, and tomorrow, and the month of April. We will see what those days hold.

But for today, I will have to be satisfied with...everything.

I was feeling truly inspired in my mind to follow NaBloPoMo because this month was all about "Words." However, my inspiration (as already stated) did not move much past my mind.

Words are, in fact, powerful.
They have the ability to draw you in to a story, full of delicious descriptions, calling the reader to turn the page and dive in deeper.
Words are powerful.

They have the ability to bring tears to eyes as a result of good news, and sad news.
And, while they most certainly cannot break bones, they have been known to break me.

Words do have power when we give it to them. When we allow people to determine our value.

Today, again, I was reminded that there is only one voice that I need to listen to, and regardless of what I may or may not have done, the owner of this voice always loves me.

Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

Friday, March 11, 2011

In A Word

Today is a two for one day.
This month I had determined I would participate in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). This encourages you to post one post every day.

Ahem. It's March 11th.
Obviously, 31 posts in the month of March did not happen.

As a result, I have made another goal. Post 20 times in the month of March.

Be watching- "In a Word".

I Hear Voices

The answer always come back: I. Am. Human.

But, maybe I should start from the beginning.

I have always heard voices in my head. Before all of you start nodding your heads in understanding, and saying, "Ohhhh, that explains everything," let me explain. I'm not talking about voices or even voices (like the country song) of friends, family, etc... (although periodically I do). The voices I hear are my own. My own negative, confused, anxious voices. They are hard to quiet.

What makes it most difficult is that fact that the voices are not rational; there is no reasoning with them.

What do they say?
  • You aren't good enough.
  • Your friends aren't really your friends.
  • They will leave you.
  • You will make large mistakes. They will not be able to be fixed.
I could continue, but you get the idea.

However, I'm tried of these voices. There are others I'd rather hear, One in particular. It's the louder voice of One who holds my entire life in my hands. And, as I try to make MY voices quiet, I want His voice to be louder.

His voice says:
  • You are wonderfully made.
  • I will never leave you. I will never forsake you.
  • I will forget and forgive any mistakes you have made.
  • Do not worry. DON'T WORRY. I will care for you.
  • I. Love. You.
This is my weakness. This is when I pray and pray and ask God to help me not be anxious and I ask Him WHY must I be anxious. Why must one day I wake up fine, and the next I find myself in a battle again. This is when I receive the answer that I am only human. And, while I have anxiety, others may have different difficulties.

Today is a new day. Today is a day when I am surrounded by positive people and positive light. Today is when I feel God's hand on my heart, and He is saying, "It's gonna be alright. I've got this."

Time for me to let Him.