Can ya Dig It

I had a record player. It had been a Christmas present that I had received sometime during the elementary school years. I loved it. It only made sense that come time for college, I’d pack it up and bring it with.

I was alone with my record player. Others (including my roommate) had moved on to the new fangled multi-disc cd players. My music-playing machine didn’t make it out of the box when I arrived at school. Instead it slid quietly under my bed where it stayed. Until my first break, when it inconspicuously made it way back to the safety of home.

We all have secrets about ourselves. Some things appear to others when we don’t realize anyone is watching. Other things we tuck away so carefully that only those who stay around the longest and watch the closest could even hope to find out. For me, there are things that I kept secret even from myself.  

There are a few people that I have met over the years, more than a few actually, who knew who they were, with no question. It would be the way that they walked, or how they embraced details about themselves, that gave it away. They would shrug off uncertainty because those things that made them them, did not cause them embarrassment.

These things about myself, the things that others wear so proudly, I have tried to hide them. Random comments? I could be queen. I was highly embarrassed about this, but now, try to beat me.

And yes, I can talk a long time. I have a lot of words to say.  I would try to tuck them away, but now try to stop me.

I really love laughing. Really laughing, and I try to as often as possible.

I’m obsessed with owls, little birdies and elephants. I use a scale involving the words: like, love, awesome, totally, and absolutely when explaining how I feel about things. And yes, I make up my own words and use them on a regular basis. Oh and the word, “Seriously,” well, I should have a t-shirt made that says, “seriously,” so that I could just point to it as needed. Because, seriously? I say it all the time.

So in the life and times of Stephanie, as I attempt to find my groove, the groove that so many others seem to just have, I have learned a few things. About myself. And I'm pretty okay about it.

I squeeze the toothpaste bottle from the middle, (I cannot be stopped) and I love collecting interesting notebooks and wearing multiple layers and scarves, even mid summer.

What I know now, even more in my quest to my groove, is that wrapped up in my apparent quirkiness, eclectic-ness, and eccentricities, I am a bit retro. If only I had a record player.

And maybe I’ve been closer to my groove than I ever thought.