Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Turning Pages

I am a cheater.
I know that all of you must have gasped out loud as you read that statement. Stephanie? A cheater? No.
Alas, it is true, at least partly. I know as I'm about to type this statement I all have swarms of people shaking their heads in disdain, but this is a longtime habit that has yet to be broken.

I, Stephanie Hunter, look ahead.

It's true. I'm a last-chapter, final-minute-movie-watcher, look-aheader.
What does that mean?

Well, in the case of a book, I may frantically scan to the end of the book and peruse pages for my new *friends, ensuring their safety; confirming that the appropriate loves have connected, the mystery is solved, the story complete. And, when it comes to a movie, through squinted eyes, I forward the movie to the near ending and ensure the same.
I am typically... disappointed.
All of you aforementioned folks who find my habit despicable are now applauding. Serves me right, no? I deserve the disappointment at looking ahead. However, the disappointment might not be exactly what you think. The disappointment lies in the fact that the ending...makes no sense.
By soaring through days, months, years of my characters' lives I'm missing out on important pieces, the blocks that built the story perfectly, and quite frankly it makes no sense. Even skipping ahead a mere handful of pages (which may or may not have happened a week ago) I'm at a loss for what I missed. The end result is that I go back to where I was to begin with, and I must read or watch until the end.

So it is truly a good thing that God has not provided me with my Life Book, or I'd have done gone and ruined the ending. I say if only as though I'm secretly glad that don't have said book. I really wanna know. Life is more than a 200 page turner.  There are twists and corners. There are every days, full of dishes and cleaning the bathroom. There are sad and quiet days. More days of gardening and (movies and books) painting. Exciting days of visiting friends and squeezing on babies. However,  I keep flipping through to find what happens next, when really I need to live now. When we choose to live in any dimension other than the present, we miss out. We miss out on the purpose God has for us today, and really I'm no good today if I'm already into next week.

There is an ending that I do know about.  And while this does not guarantee that I will have everything I want, God will give me what I need.  Meantime, I just have to trust Him, shine a bit of light around and enjoy the story that's happening now.  No skipping ahead this time; the ink's not yet dry on today.

Much love,

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