Thursday, September 04, 2014

Becoming a Doer Being a Human

The last few months I have been truly considering what I wanted to be when I grew up. Since technically I arrived at "grown up" sometime over the last 15-ish years I am possibly arriving late to the game. However, the quest is on.

I could write.
I could be an interior designer.
Motivational Speaker.
I could be a fashion designer.
I could be an investigative journalist, or write for National Geographic/ National Geographic Adventure (Which would technically be awesome).
I could be a Jammer in Roller-derby (which seems totally exciting and yet absolutely terrifying/horrifying. Me. Traveling at high speeds on wheels) and you get a super cool name (which saying super cool probably lost me all the super cool points I earned today).
Lead guitarist in a garage band, appropriately named something like Garage Band.

All while working with the kidlings at my church (which I honestly love love love doing!)

Part of the trouble is that I don't want to do just one thing. I want to do them all. I want to write and design and create. I want to shoot photos and investigate. I want to learn Spanish and be able to play the piano and the guitar. I may be stretching it just a touch when I say I really want to Roller-derby gal (because again, me on wheels... terrifying!)

I've been considering them all. Calculating time- which is short. We don't know how much time we will have. Given that, I need to do with it things truly amazing and meaningful.

Yesterday I was considering all this, determining Stephanie's next step, when suddenly a word slapped me in the forehead.
Yep. Do. Do. (Did I say I work with kids? Because that's the excuse I have for reading those words before this sentence and then laughing.)
Do.  The thing about Do or doing is that it is a reflection of who we are, who we be. I have a tendency of putting so much effort in doing that I forget about the being. 

Being. Totally a weird word when it's just said alone. However, it's such an important one because what we are busy doing is usually a reflection of what we are being. The being is so much more than the doing. And what is it about my being, my inner "guts" that are requiring my attention? What qualities of my being am I displaying by my doing? Are my actions kind? Are my actions nice? Are they helpful? Do people see me and see Light? Or do my actions display anger, and meanness? Am I a gossiper? Do people leave me feeling better?
Ultimately, who I want to be is so much more important than what I want to do.

I am most certainly going to keep on doing. Paying extra close attention to my being. I am going to be kind. I'm going to check my attitude. I'm going to be a Light in the great darkness. I'm going to dance good to weird music (or is it dance weird to good music?). I am going to focus on my *guts* so that by the time I do I exude. And when (not if but when) I make a misstep and fall? I'm going to get back up. Clean up my tunic and give it another go.
I cannot write this without saying that God is who I want at my core. I don't always do Him justice, but I'll certainly keep giving it a go.

What about you? What are you being that is causing you to do? Are you going in circles? Not finding you? Talk to me because I have been there.

Life is messy. Deliciously messy. And my "do-ing" dilemma will most likely go on.  But in the midst of that you will find me being here at Pearl and more than likely making some type of mess in one of these rooms.

Jesus-follower. Great-Nelson-Tamer. Motivational Speaker. Daughter. Best Friend. Nerd. Crafter. Photographer. Guitarist. Planner. Designer. Teacher. Niece-r (sounded weird with no "r"). Love-spreader. Sister. Truth-teller. Writer. Geographer. Language(s) speaker.
And all in a day's work.

Be True,

1 comment:

Robert Davis said...

Do them all!