Tuesday, January 28, 2014

A Messy Message

Fair warning. This is not my best work. It's late. I've got the winter blues. But I wanted to say it now.

My family's claim to crazy  is no different than anyone else. Believe me when I say that I myself can wave that crazy flag with little to no shame. Yeah, I'm kinda quirky. I'm learning to accept it.  When I was younger, my mom and dad packed me and my brother up and we took off for the distant land of the North. Yankee territory. Behind us, we left our kinfolk. My cousins, and uncles and aunts, all of them. I often cried for them. (I mean often.) I missed them. My heart ached. It ached for Texas.

Speaking to the Texans out there, I know you know. Texas feels different. The sweet grass is sweet. The air always feels different... usually because it's so hot it's suffocating!

I love my family (I've never said extended, because, I don't know why. Do southern folk say extended family?). I might could write a little bit about all of them, but tonight, there are two in particular I need to send a message to.

My Mama has two older brothers. My Mama sits right in the middle, and after her she has two sisters.  These two Uncles...
They lost their own Mama when she was far too young, and so we did not meet her (we as in grandkids), and they lost their Daddy when he was far too young as well. While many of us did know him, time was short, and he was gone.

These two Uncles... I love to hear them talk. These brothers. They have stories. They will lean in toward the middle, elbow on the table. If I close my eyes, I can hear it. I can hear them laughing. And while I didn't get to know my Grandma and didn't know him enough (my Grandpa), they bring them to life. I can see them as they are being chased around by my Grandpa (probably getting in trouble I'm sure).  They are running through the woods, hooping and hollaring. As they tell the stories, the pictures come to life and I'm there with them. As they gathered around outside, while all the grown ups gathered inside. Suddenly, I am there too. I never want to leave when they are talking. I want more and more...

We all just want a little time.

One of my Uncles is sick now. The trouble is, I cannot cannot begin to imagine life without him, without either of them. I know they are far away. I know we aren't together often, but I just need them to know.  I can't begin to know what to do if they were to be gone from me. No matter when it is, it is too soon.

I need to hear the stories. I need to hear your voices and listen to the words and the laughter.

I need you to know that I love you. Even if I haven't said it enough or loud enough or in the right way. I love you.

You are always home to me.
Stephnie ('A' missing on purpose, because when you talk Texan, the 'A' just isn't there. Try it. You'll see.)

No comments: