Thursday, August 25, 2011


A while ago I wrote a note and sent it to me mum:

I have to say, I believe in God. I believe God has a purpose for my lfie. I really do. But, For my whole life I felt as though I didn't belong anywhere with anyone. For once, I finally did. It's taken me a while to really put to words how I am feeling, and why I am feeling what I do and today it hit me. I BELONGED with someone. I had someone that I went with, that I fit with. I was an "US." It was nice. It was like becomming a part of a whole, when before I was only a piece. Now I feel like only a piece again. I don't want to feel that way. I want to feel whole and good and well on my own. Now that I've acknowledged that, I need to start working on feeling that way.

In response I received this (from my wonderful Mum):

Even though you felt like you didn't belong, the fact is you did. You just didn't believe you did. You believed you had to be an US to be ANYTHING. The fact is you are important enough to be enough on your own. That does not mean that the desire to share your life with someone is a flaw. It is not. BUT to be a PART of someone else you have to be a WHOLE person on your own. The goal here is to try new things on your own. GO meet some new friends. God is who can make you whole because HE is that one that will always be there. ALWAYS...there is no person that will always be there no matter how hard they try or want to...God wants you to feel whole in Him because until you really understand that you will only be a piece no matter what.

Of course, it got me thinking. Why did I feel as though I had a purpose during the time I was in the relationship, but the moment it was over I didn't? My purpose all the time was the same. Ultimately to be a light. And to be the best daughter, sister, family member, friend, manager, emplyee, human I can be. My purpose has never changed. I just have not had clear vision my whole life.

Hopefully my vision is beginning to clear.

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