A Road Map

I realized tonight that I have been MIA for quite a while. Yet, here I am again. I am sitting in the semi-dark. My Christmas tree is lit, and the small lights over my counter are on. It's cold outside, but warm in. I have done many things tonight, basically involving everything but the things that I really need to do. But, tomorrow is Friday, and the weekend is coming, opening its arms welcoming me in, and I am ready.

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I have a couple of friends that I have acquired in Illinois who have taught me about "The Drive." Let me quickly explain.
You get in your car. You may or may not call your friends and say you have five minutes to be ready and jump in the car. Then you drive.

The Drive comes with rules:
1. Don't ask questions. For example, "Where are we going?"Not allowed. Neither is, "When are we going back?" or "what are we doing next?" Depending on who you are with, "I'm hot/cold, it's too windy" is also questionable.
2. Bring music, just in case you and your driving buddies need to sing.
3. Just gotta roll. Bring a jacket. Or a sweater. The person who is driving is in charge. If the driver decides to roll down the window, and blare the heat, go with it.
4. Sit back and relax. Whether you are driving or riding, you should enjoy the ride. Enjoy the scenery. Talk. Laugh. Cry.
5. When you end up back where you started from you should feel better, lighter, calmer, and even happier than when you first headed out.

I am terrible at "The drive." I make an excellent passenger, but when it comes to being the driver I am awful. I have a need to know where to go next, where to turn, when's the stop light, what's the speed limit.... I could go on of course. I slide in, sit behind the wheel, and grip it tightly, afraid to just go. I need a map. My other friends who are experts at the drive do not need a map. They just drive. We have been lost quite often, but we always return whole and safe and well.

Life is not always as easy as the drive. I can look outside, and plan into tomorrow. I can decide when I'm going on vacation, and where, but the bends in the road, the storms, the hills, well I just quite frankly cannot see them. I want a map. I sit behind the wheel, and I grip tightly, anxious to know where I'm going, what will happen next. There is no map for life, though. Sometimes I believe that God is waiting for me to slide over to the passenger seat, lean back, and enjoy The Drive.

Overall, I think it's been a pretty good one.

Proverbs 3:5-7
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.

The Re-potting of Blanche

Not being a "green-thumb" type, I'm not sure if "re-potting" is actually a word, but I'm using it anyways. I have fallen in love (I believe it is possible) with my beautiful Ficus, which was given to me over a year ago. Blanche has graced my desk at work with her presence since she arrived in my life, and she has grown. New leaves have sprung up and she stretches taller than she did a year ago.

A week ago I realized my beautiful plant was out growing her pot. Her roots, not able to push down, were pushing upward, out of the dirt. She has had no where to grow. Today, I ran errands, enjoying a middle of the week day off, and I went and found a new pot for my plant. Armed with dirt, I attempted to do what I had never done before and move Blanche from one pot to a new pot, thus the "re-pot" comes in to play.

As I carefully removed Blanche from her old home, to move to her new, I found exactly what I had expected to find. Her roots were all bunched up tight, unable to move, unable to grown. Following the directions, I planted her safely in her new home, where I expect she'll have more room to grow.

It struck me as I was moving her, that she has been trapped in a tight area, not able to grow. She has had no choice. At the same time, I realized I trap myself. I wrap myself up tight, and while maybe safe, I have no where to grow. I don't allow God to move in me. Moving to a new place is scary. I've done it. It's unnerving, going where you don't know, moving to a place with which you are unfamiliar. I don't only mean moving physically. There's more than that. There is the surrender, saying to God, I have no idea what you want with me, but I'm open. I don't know who you want me to be, or where you want me to go, or do, but I'm open.

It feels safer doing the same routine day in and day out. Reading the same verses, seeing the same friends, doing what is familiar, but then there is the beauty of risk, the beautiful potential that surrounds every day when I walk out my door. I can continue to do what I have always done, and continue to get what I've always got, or I can become something bigger. Grow somewhere newer.

Today, that is my prayer. That I will be open to God moving in my life. Open to Him challenging me to be a light.

Time to stretch my roots.

Not Me Mondays

I am not practicing procrastination at it's finest.
Nope, not me!

I do not have laundry that I need to do. I do not dread hauling it down to the laundry room.
I do not need to dust.
I do not need to unpack from my weekend trip.
Not me!

I do not have two, count them TWO assignments left to finish for school.
I am not setting a bad example for America's children.
They are not the very same TWO assignments I had left to finish a week ago.
I am not writing on my blog avoiding the assignments.
Uh, uh, Not me!

I am not sitting in the dark, on my bed singing.
I am not listening to the same song over and over, warming up my vocal cords. That would make no sense.
Nope, NOT ME!

Check out my friend Jenilee's blog for more Not Me Mondays!

October- The Month of Heath and Wellness

While you may not find any record of October being the month of Health, my coworker and I have decided that is what it is going to be for us!
What does that mean?

1. Going to bed in a timely manner. (Me going to bed at 12:30 every night- not a good idea.)
   
2. Less caffeine. This one will be challenging. See number one. I have been surviving on number two.
3. Lots and lots of water.
4. Exercising.
   
5. A little chocolate every day. Before you contradict me, saying that this one will only cause a detour on my route to health and wellness, this one is essential. Essential for all those who see me every day. A little chocolate goes a long way in keeping my sanity.
   

I'll be finishing up with my term for school in around a week. This last term has been full of no tests, but approximately twenty short papers... And only two to go! I am look forward to the short break that I will have until November 1st. Then it's back to work!

During my break I have a few things planned, right along with rest, relaxation, and cleaning. Along with that there will be cookies for work, piano for me, and Christmas presents to finish and buy. I am determined to start and finish my shopping early this year!

A final note:

A ship captain was on his ship when a storm rolled in. His family was with him, and as the waves rolled in and the boat rocked, his wife came to him, crying in terror.
"Why are you not afraid of the storm?!" she exclaimed.
The captain drew his sword and held it close to his wife's chest. He asked her, "Are you not afraid?"
"No."
"Why?" he asked.
"Well, I know the one who holds the sword."
He responded, "I know the one who holds the storm."
Adapted from a commentary

It is easy so many times to look at the waves, at the storm, and forget the one who holds the storm in his hands. I am guilty at looking at a situation and giving up. Laying in bed, covers over my head, shivering in terror. The reality is, as long as I look at the one who is holding the storm, and not the storm itself, I will make it through.

Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

There are times when things are scary. There are wars, and storms. There is sickness, and even death. These are things that make me anxious. At times I feel as though there is nothing that can keep me safe. God, and only God provides the peace inside my heart. That peace allows me to trust that despite the waves, despite the holes in my boat, despite my circumstances, I will come through the other side.
God can do the same for you.

Make tomorrow beautiful. Love to you all,

I have become an "Air Quoter"...

...Save me from myself.

On to other news.

1) I feel like I've spent the last four months playing catch up. Between my mini weekend trips to Iowa, Indiana, and Missouri, my vacation to Nebraska, work and school, I feel like I've been a constant step behind the whole summer. It has been a fun summer, but it's been fast! When I take the time to actually sit and breathe deep and look back I realize I have enjoyed myself. Now, I'm catching up, cleaning, laundry and cleaning some more, and even though I personally do not follow the September to May schedule, whenever "school starts" I feel like life starts slowly moving back in order.

2) My cousin took some awesome pictures on his trip to Europe last summer, and he gave me a few for my place. I just found great frames and now have them strategically around my living room. When I look at them I am so amazed and impressed with my cousin! You are amazing Jake!

3) My planner. Ask me and I know what I'm doing in a week. I know what is happening on September 3rd (nothing). I know what day Christmas is, and I have a vacation planned in January of 2010. I carry my schedule planner with me every where I go, and yet, I write nothing down. Today I have determined that if I am going to carry it with me, I'm going to fill it out. It might make more sense for me to just stop carrying it around, but it never fails that I need it when I don't have it. I'm gonna keep it in my bag. Tonight I will write in it.

4) I have had a goal for the last few years to read 12 books a year. It has been challenging when I am trying to read school books at the same time. I am falling super short in my goal this year. But, I have a stack of new, sweet smell like books books, and four months to finish reading to my goal.

5) A year ago I was an avid blogger. Granted for a part of that time I was in Charlotte with limited responsibilities. Now again, life, as I mentioned before, is in full swing. I have made it another goal to write at least once a week. Here's a post to toast to that goal.

6) My dear friend Jenilee wrote about how she has been busy working in her busy home, taking care of three girls (and a husband who collects bugs). Despite how busy she has been there is a truth that she clings to, and I am reminded of that today. It can be so easy to lose track and get lost in the middle of insanity and chaos. It can be easy to look at the storm, at the winds, at the waves. That's easy. What is harder is to look to the one who created the storms, the winds, the waves. It's harder to trust. It's harder to let go. It's harder...at first. But then, there's peace. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Take the first step. Look to God for the peace you have been missing.

My summer in a photograph

Going in all different directions, a little craziness, somewhat strange, and fun all at the same time!

And just how do you think this is gonna work???

I just bought a new mattress. Monday night it was delivered. I would like to say, I TOTALLY love it!

So, the big question has been, how do you get a mattress up into your room, using those stairs?!
The answer- you don't!

Yup, they sent it up, OVER the balcony! They were pretty quick too! I'm just glad I wasn't responsible for shooting the mattress up. Otherwise, I'd be sleeping on the patio outside my apartment!

How do you pause this thing?

If only life had a pause button. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause moments in our life, and just have the ability to sit and enjoy? I'd have paused the night it snowed, as the world became a snow globe around me; I'd pause the night my family and I were huddled together in my parent's living room, watching movies and eating popcorn until late at night; I would pause the time I jumped from the cliff and remain motionless above the water, for seconds longer; I would pause the times I laugh with my friends, and laugh and laugh; I'd pause...and pause...and pause....STOP.

Why is it that sadness causes all of to reevaluate our lives and our actions? Why is it that it takes some act of sorrow to cause us to make a change? Why can we not wake up every morning, determining to live as though this day, this one day, is all we have? Why don't we decide in the morning, this is what I must do, this is who I must love, this is where I must go. Why do we instead, lay in bed and say, oops maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll do that; maybe tomorrow I will love; maybe tomorrow I'll go there. What happened to today? It is given to us just once, and we either choose to embrace it, or let it lie, wishing it away, waiting for tomorrow because, well, because... tomorrow will be better?

We could at the same time try to pause our, try to stop time. That doesn't work either. We are left instead with the choice to take every moment and breathe every breath as though it's the last. No looking back. No crying for yesterday. No wasting today, wishing for tomorrow.

So tonight, I plan on going to sleep on my brand new bed, and enjoy it. It's the first new night, and the last first night. Tonight, I'll do my homework and exercise. Talk to my friends. Talk to my family. Tell them I love them. Get ready for tomorrow. And probably sing while doing the dishes. But I won't waste time crying for yesterday. And I won't miss out on the moments I have today waiting for tomorrow. No time for pausing.

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
~Chinese Proverb

Wednesdays Walk- On a Thursday

A Walk on a Wednesday-Er make that Thursday

This summer has been wonderful as a whole, busy but great. I have found myself taking trips all over the mid west and I have learned multiple things about myself:

1. I love my friends. The last few months I have met up with so many of my friends from school (elementary- middle- high) and college. Friends make us who we are. After seeing these friends that I grew up with, I have found that they are responsible for helping me to be who I am..... all good of course, all good.
   
2. I love fields of country. I love the hills of corn and they way that they sound when the wind blows through them. I love how in the evening, on a warm day, the fireflies light up and swim in the air above the field. These days, city may be in my heart, but country will always be in my soul.
   
3. I love being home. When I first moved out on my own, I thought I'd go stir crazy. I could not imagine spending time with myself, and enjoying it, butI do. Whether it be after a long trip or a short day, I love coming home.
   

On my recent journeys I found myself taking many pictures. Here's some of my faves:

Indiana--- Guess where this is!?!
On the road to Missouri


Nebraska:

Iowa: Illinois:
On to other news, homework. I find it funny to say that I have homework. Seeing as I'm going to school online, there's really no other way to say it.

I must admit, it is a challenge to be going to school and working. Some days I feel as though I cannot put any more information in my head. I do, however, enjoy it. I love learning, and I am excited about where I am headed!

Lastly, I have been rather on the crafty side. Fortunately, I feel like I have good reason seeing as I am studying to be an elementary school teacher, I'll have plenty of reasons to use my weird creativeness! Here are some of my projects:


My two little friends Hayley and Megan came over one day and we made bags and bracelets.
Note how large this bag looks on the shoulder of the beautiful girl in the picture? Marketing ploy. It was NOT that big! We were shocked, but it was still fun designing a bag!

My Mosaic Garden stone:
I have plans to make a mosaic table. I wanted to practice and see how difficult it was. I must say, it wasn't difficult at all!

On a final note, when I would talk to the kids in children's church, we would talk about the blessings, or the good things that God has given us. Sometimes it is so easy to forget all of the great things that God has given me. (If you had seen me last week you would know what I'm saying) But I know that I have a place to live, and food to eat. I have clothes, water, friends and family. I should remember to be thankful every day rather than dwell on the "woes" and the difficulties that life can throw.

What do you have to be thankful for today?

Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

To the Moon...

In my mind there have always been these "careers" that sounded something more like dreams than reality. For example, being an astronaut. At one point, the thought of floating around in space in a small area terrified me. Then I saw Space Camp (keep in mind I was probably only seven) and I changed my mind. From then on, even to this day, I can understand the desire and the draw that people have to go "where no man has gone before." I can look up in the sky, then close my eyes and literally feel the need to travel up to the moon, to explore and to understand what is beyond.

On to California where I met this group of people who had a fascination with standing on the top of tall cliffs-right on the edge. I was amazed because I was terrified by the thought of climbing a cliff let alone dancing on the edge where the wind could blow me off with one swift gust. I thought I understood the draw or the desire to climb and to be high enough to see the world, but then I read, Into Thin Air, and I knew that there was something else beyond what I myself knew or understood. The small measly 120 foot cliff I repealed down is nothing compared to what others have done, and need to do. (You dare devils- you know who you are... you amaze me and I am mesmerized by what you are able to do)

Here I am now, sitting in my apartment writing papers, reading books and studying (okay at the moment I'm taking a little break) for what I have a need to do. I know that compared to going to the moon, climbing a mountain, teaching is not a glorious, amazing, throw a parade type of profession, but for me, there has always been a desire, an overwhelming need to teach. I believe that this is an honor, and a need that God placed deep inside my heart so long ago. Despite the late nights, the books, the reading, the papers, when I look down to the end of the road, I can see exactly where I'm going.

For me, I have found, I might as well be going to the moon...

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11