Friday, September 27, 2013

Extraordinarily Ordinary

I love words.
There are thousands and thousands of words that we can use on a daily basis. 
Extraordinary (someday)
I love words. 
I love words because they dance around me all day long. Some of them sound delicious, phrases and sentences we combine together to describe what we see, and feel... 
To our children, full of energy and emotions, new and learning how to explain instead of hitting, or yelling, we say, "Use your words..."
We sing, and sing and sing.

And, as adults, we use our words...
As we are driving down the freeway, we sing songs, our favorite lyrics; we croon to make loved ones feel better; we tell jokes to bring a laugh; we bring life with what we speak. 

I love words. Mostly. 
When it's in the dark, in the forest where all is calm, our words can speak death. Oh we can be hateful to each other. We mutter under our breath; we shout out our impatience at waiting in lines. 
While we shout angrily at others, our worst, our worst words our uttered to ourselves. We say these words, I  say these words out loud; in our minds, my mind. I am downright cruel. 

Over the years I have worked and practiced at positive self talk. I have written down affirmations. Repeated encouraging words and phrases out loud, in other languages, used post-it notes, emailed myself. I was mastering my technique in positive affirmation. 
Then I woke up the next day. 

While I can certainly look backward, and I've come so far, the truth is a lot of what I've stopped saying out loud, I just keep inward.

But I don't want to be that way. I don't want to tuck it in. I don't want to think it all.

Hard work.

I can't quite get a handle on it. But, I'll not quit trying.

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