October- The Month of Heath and Wellness

While you may not find any record of October being the month of Health, my coworker and I have decided that is what it is going to be for us!
What does that mean?

1. Going to bed in a timely manner. (Me going to bed at 12:30 every night- not a good idea.)
   
2. Less caffeine. This one will be challenging. See number one. I have been surviving on number two.
3. Lots and lots of water.
4. Exercising.
   
5. A little chocolate every day. Before you contradict me, saying that this one will only cause a detour on my route to health and wellness, this one is essential. Essential for all those who see me every day. A little chocolate goes a long way in keeping my sanity.
   

I'll be finishing up with my term for school in around a week. This last term has been full of no tests, but approximately twenty short papers... And only two to go! I am look forward to the short break that I will have until November 1st. Then it's back to work!

During my break I have a few things planned, right along with rest, relaxation, and cleaning. Along with that there will be cookies for work, piano for me, and Christmas presents to finish and buy. I am determined to start and finish my shopping early this year!

A final note:

A ship captain was on his ship when a storm rolled in. His family was with him, and as the waves rolled in and the boat rocked, his wife came to him, crying in terror.
"Why are you not afraid of the storm?!" she exclaimed.
The captain drew his sword and held it close to his wife's chest. He asked her, "Are you not afraid?"
"No."
"Why?" he asked.
"Well, I know the one who holds the sword."
He responded, "I know the one who holds the storm."
Adapted from a commentary

It is easy so many times to look at the waves, at the storm, and forget the one who holds the storm in his hands. I am guilty at looking at a situation and giving up. Laying in bed, covers over my head, shivering in terror. The reality is, as long as I look at the one who is holding the storm, and not the storm itself, I will make it through.

Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

There are times when things are scary. There are wars, and storms. There is sickness, and even death. These are things that make me anxious. At times I feel as though there is nothing that can keep me safe. God, and only God provides the peace inside my heart. That peace allows me to trust that despite the waves, despite the holes in my boat, despite my circumstances, I will come through the other side.
God can do the same for you.

Make tomorrow beautiful. Love to you all,

I have become an "Air Quoter"...

...Save me from myself.

On to other news.

1) I feel like I've spent the last four months playing catch up. Between my mini weekend trips to Iowa, Indiana, and Missouri, my vacation to Nebraska, work and school, I feel like I've been a constant step behind the whole summer. It has been a fun summer, but it's been fast! When I take the time to actually sit and breathe deep and look back I realize I have enjoyed myself. Now, I'm catching up, cleaning, laundry and cleaning some more, and even though I personally do not follow the September to May schedule, whenever "school starts" I feel like life starts slowly moving back in order.

2) My cousin took some awesome pictures on his trip to Europe last summer, and he gave me a few for my place. I just found great frames and now have them strategically around my living room. When I look at them I am so amazed and impressed with my cousin! You are amazing Jake!

3) My planner. Ask me and I know what I'm doing in a week. I know what is happening on September 3rd (nothing). I know what day Christmas is, and I have a vacation planned in January of 2010. I carry my schedule planner with me every where I go, and yet, I write nothing down. Today I have determined that if I am going to carry it with me, I'm going to fill it out. It might make more sense for me to just stop carrying it around, but it never fails that I need it when I don't have it. I'm gonna keep it in my bag. Tonight I will write in it.

4) I have had a goal for the last few years to read 12 books a year. It has been challenging when I am trying to read school books at the same time. I am falling super short in my goal this year. But, I have a stack of new, sweet smell like books books, and four months to finish reading to my goal.

5) A year ago I was an avid blogger. Granted for a part of that time I was in Charlotte with limited responsibilities. Now again, life, as I mentioned before, is in full swing. I have made it another goal to write at least once a week. Here's a post to toast to that goal.

6) My dear friend Jenilee wrote about how she has been busy working in her busy home, taking care of three girls (and a husband who collects bugs). Despite how busy she has been there is a truth that she clings to, and I am reminded of that today. It can be so easy to lose track and get lost in the middle of insanity and chaos. It can be easy to look at the storm, at the winds, at the waves. That's easy. What is harder is to look to the one who created the storms, the winds, the waves. It's harder to trust. It's harder to let go. It's harder...at first. But then, there's peace. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Take the first step. Look to God for the peace you have been missing.

My summer in a photograph

Going in all different directions, a little craziness, somewhat strange, and fun all at the same time!

And just how do you think this is gonna work???

I just bought a new mattress. Monday night it was delivered. I would like to say, I TOTALLY love it!

So, the big question has been, how do you get a mattress up into your room, using those stairs?!
The answer- you don't!

Yup, they sent it up, OVER the balcony! They were pretty quick too! I'm just glad I wasn't responsible for shooting the mattress up. Otherwise, I'd be sleeping on the patio outside my apartment!

How do you pause this thing?

If only life had a pause button. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause moments in our life, and just have the ability to sit and enjoy? I'd have paused the night it snowed, as the world became a snow globe around me; I'd pause the night my family and I were huddled together in my parent's living room, watching movies and eating popcorn until late at night; I would pause the time I jumped from the cliff and remain motionless above the water, for seconds longer; I would pause the times I laugh with my friends, and laugh and laugh; I'd pause...and pause...and pause....STOP.

Why is it that sadness causes all of to reevaluate our lives and our actions? Why is it that it takes some act of sorrow to cause us to make a change? Why can we not wake up every morning, determining to live as though this day, this one day, is all we have? Why don't we decide in the morning, this is what I must do, this is who I must love, this is where I must go. Why do we instead, lay in bed and say, oops maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll do that; maybe tomorrow I will love; maybe tomorrow I'll go there. What happened to today? It is given to us just once, and we either choose to embrace it, or let it lie, wishing it away, waiting for tomorrow because, well, because... tomorrow will be better?

We could at the same time try to pause our, try to stop time. That doesn't work either. We are left instead with the choice to take every moment and breathe every breath as though it's the last. No looking back. No crying for yesterday. No wasting today, wishing for tomorrow.

So tonight, I plan on going to sleep on my brand new bed, and enjoy it. It's the first new night, and the last first night. Tonight, I'll do my homework and exercise. Talk to my friends. Talk to my family. Tell them I love them. Get ready for tomorrow. And probably sing while doing the dishes. But I won't waste time crying for yesterday. And I won't miss out on the moments I have today waiting for tomorrow. No time for pausing.

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
~Chinese Proverb

Wednesdays Walk- On a Thursday

A Walk on a Wednesday-Er make that Thursday

This summer has been wonderful as a whole, busy but great. I have found myself taking trips all over the mid west and I have learned multiple things about myself:

1. I love my friends. The last few months I have met up with so many of my friends from school (elementary- middle- high) and college. Friends make us who we are. After seeing these friends that I grew up with, I have found that they are responsible for helping me to be who I am..... all good of course, all good.
   
2. I love fields of country. I love the hills of corn and they way that they sound when the wind blows through them. I love how in the evening, on a warm day, the fireflies light up and swim in the air above the field. These days, city may be in my heart, but country will always be in my soul.
   
3. I love being home. When I first moved out on my own, I thought I'd go stir crazy. I could not imagine spending time with myself, and enjoying it, butI do. Whether it be after a long trip or a short day, I love coming home.
   

On my recent journeys I found myself taking many pictures. Here's some of my faves:

Indiana--- Guess where this is!?!
On the road to Missouri


Nebraska:

Iowa: Illinois:
On to other news, homework. I find it funny to say that I have homework. Seeing as I'm going to school online, there's really no other way to say it.

I must admit, it is a challenge to be going to school and working. Some days I feel as though I cannot put any more information in my head. I do, however, enjoy it. I love learning, and I am excited about where I am headed!

Lastly, I have been rather on the crafty side. Fortunately, I feel like I have good reason seeing as I am studying to be an elementary school teacher, I'll have plenty of reasons to use my weird creativeness! Here are some of my projects:


My two little friends Hayley and Megan came over one day and we made bags and bracelets.
Note how large this bag looks on the shoulder of the beautiful girl in the picture? Marketing ploy. It was NOT that big! We were shocked, but it was still fun designing a bag!

My Mosaic Garden stone:
I have plans to make a mosaic table. I wanted to practice and see how difficult it was. I must say, it wasn't difficult at all!

On a final note, when I would talk to the kids in children's church, we would talk about the blessings, or the good things that God has given us. Sometimes it is so easy to forget all of the great things that God has given me. (If you had seen me last week you would know what I'm saying) But I know that I have a place to live, and food to eat. I have clothes, water, friends and family. I should remember to be thankful every day rather than dwell on the "woes" and the difficulties that life can throw.

What do you have to be thankful for today?

Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

To the Moon...

In my mind there have always been these "careers" that sounded something more like dreams than reality. For example, being an astronaut. At one point, the thought of floating around in space in a small area terrified me. Then I saw Space Camp (keep in mind I was probably only seven) and I changed my mind. From then on, even to this day, I can understand the desire and the draw that people have to go "where no man has gone before." I can look up in the sky, then close my eyes and literally feel the need to travel up to the moon, to explore and to understand what is beyond.

On to California where I met this group of people who had a fascination with standing on the top of tall cliffs-right on the edge. I was amazed because I was terrified by the thought of climbing a cliff let alone dancing on the edge where the wind could blow me off with one swift gust. I thought I understood the draw or the desire to climb and to be high enough to see the world, but then I read, Into Thin Air, and I knew that there was something else beyond what I myself knew or understood. The small measly 120 foot cliff I repealed down is nothing compared to what others have done, and need to do. (You dare devils- you know who you are... you amaze me and I am mesmerized by what you are able to do)

Here I am now, sitting in my apartment writing papers, reading books and studying (okay at the moment I'm taking a little break) for what I have a need to do. I know that compared to going to the moon, climbing a mountain, teaching is not a glorious, amazing, throw a parade type of profession, but for me, there has always been a desire, an overwhelming need to teach. I believe that this is an honor, and a need that God placed deep inside my heart so long ago. Despite the late nights, the books, the reading, the papers, when I look down to the end of the road, I can see exactly where I'm going.

For me, I have found, I might as well be going to the moon...

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

A Box of Bandaids and An Ear

The wounds we encounter as a child, well, those of you with children, around children, or who were once children know, usually they are wounds we create by our own doing. For example, at about seven years old I decided (and I don't know why) that it would be the best idea to tie my shoe at the top of the stairs. Not only did I decide to tie my shoes at the top of the stairs, I decided that I would do so by lying down and sticking my feet in the air. At that same time my brother decided to go down the stairs. (In hindsight, I might have decided to tie my shoes there on purpose, possibly to prevent him from going down there- but who knows, it was a long time ago.)
As I laid on the floor my brother moved his little four year old legs over my head, and he tripped...and fell down the stairs. We both ran crying to my mom. My brother was wounded from having fallen down an entire flight of stairs, and my ear was bright red. My brother, as I told my mother, "tripped over my ear." Yes, he had tripped over my ear. It was red wasn't it?
Another time, in kindergarten, some boy and his "posse" ran after me and he kicked me in the head. I came home with a black eye. My mom and my aunts wisely told me that it was because he liked me. How fascinating. If only some boy would run after me and kick me in the head now....(kidding, kidding).
Ah, the joys of childhood drama...
There are other wounds that we encountered. Not physical, but inside. Kids are brutal. There are nicknames given, and not always fun loving names. (I also know this by experience.) At that point we learn the classic phrase, "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." If only that were true.
We carry hurts with us even as grown ups. I still, on occasion trip (but that's rare- you could call me Grace).... my ribs are still sore today. I also burned my forehead with a curling iron and one time almost got stuck on my stair case....okay maybe I'm not named Grace on purpose.
I know, you know, we all know, a broken bone sometimes heals over time much quicker than the hurt caused by a harshly spoken word. Slap on a Bugs Bunny or a Pretty Pretty Princess bandaid and the world is all better. They don't make bandaids for hearts though. As of late, I have been reminded of this very fact . The fact that words can and do cause hurt and pain.
What I don't know is how it happens, how a word can cause someone to feel so fragile.
I have begun to look again at my own self, my own mouth and determine what things have been coming out. I have found that it is true that what is in my heart, will come out of my mouth, and I don't want to be the cause of someone else's pain. But, on my own, I am no good. Left to my own devices, not only can I not walk a straight line, I cannot speak kindly to everyone. It is impossible, on my own. I have found that I must rely on God to help me. Not only do I need His help to guard my own heart from the hurts caused by others, but I need his strength to prevent me causing hurt.

Jeff Deyo, in his song, "Keep My Heart," says:

I don't know if I told you
How I long for your heart
I've just got to be like you
I've just got to be yours

That is my prayer.

So tonight while I go to sleep I will pray that I am made more like Jesus and that when I awake I will be closer to being like Him. I will also pray that my heart will be stronger and that I will not be hurt so easily knowing that others also speak out of hurt.

And, at the same time, I am going to try to find a bandaid, just for fun.

Love and sweet dreams to all,

46 Lessons of Life

Received from an email!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion, today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Like driving, slow down, look both ways and yield a little. You do not always have to be first.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift
46. Do a good deed everyday. Open a door, remember to say "thank you", smile, let someone in your lane of traffic. You may not know what effect it will have on them but it will make you feel better about yourself.

Make today beautiful!

Love,

Reading, Writing and 'Rithmetic

Back to school!

I am back to school after a month off. I will say that the first year as a new old student has had it's challenges. It definitely has been a new experience! It's completely different this time around for many reasons.

• For one, I'm not living in a dorm.
  
• Secondly, I'm doing "learning" thing online. My school is in another state. My teacher is myself, and my books are mainly online.
• I work full time.
  
• I don't live in a dorm. I don't have 40 other crazy girls living in the same hallway with me.
  

The thing is, despite the differences, despite how much work it is, despite the stress, despite all of the differences I love doing what I'm doing now. I love being a student again and learning. AND I am excited about the direction that I am going.

Things I will keep in mind this year back to school:

• Staying up late + Getting up early= Cranky Stephanie. I need to go to bed earlier (and sleep longer, hahaha!)
• Worry incessantly about whether or not you passed a test is not a good way for a person to spend the weekend. Plus, I'm pretty sure worrying can cause ulcers. It can also cause violence. I have been threatened that the next time I say I failed a test I will be beaten. This next time around I will do not say anything about failing. I cannot guarantee that I won't think it, but if I don't say it, that's at least a start, right?
• The Nez Perce tribe is from the Pacific Northwest. I don't know why I need to remember that, but I apparently, months later, still do.
  

Other news:

• I have signed up to help my new church in the children's department. It's a scary thought, and I'm nervous, but at the same time I am really excited again at the thought of working with the kids.
• No, my floor in my apartment is not completed. Yes, my stove is on my counter top. No, I've not had a tantrum again. Yes, I will be glad when it's done. In the words of my friend Karen, "In light of everything, this is a small thing."
• This weekend I'll be headed to the land of my Alma Mater. Of course, my real purpose in driving to Missouri involve my friends who at one point asked me to be their friend "Til death do we part!" (I said yes of course!)