Loquacious

Where Love Is...

2012-01-21T21:50:00.003-06:00

C and I went Friday to see a friend. We knew that she wasn't well. Her husband met us
with hugs, and a smile, and a greeting that was not quite expected. "She's not the same as you girls knew. She looks different now, but she'll love you just the same."

C smiled, and said, "We'll love her right back."

We went to her. We held her hands, and rubbed her arms. We smoothed her hair, and said things that you don't speak out loud. The room was filled with peace. Friends were there.
Family was there. Someone looked looked at C and said, "Will you sing? She would love it if you sang."

So she sang with her eyes closed, and her beautiful voice echoed down the hall. I joined in, and others followed suit. The room filled with more visitors, friends and family. The kleenex box was passed around. Hands were held. Hugs were given. The songs were favorites. Songs of hope, and of anticipation.

And, as people sang, she was laying back on the bed, eyes still closed, listening to every song,
every word and phrase, and though she could not sing with her mouth, with spoken words, she could sing with her heart. She raised her hands, with the help of others, and at moments entirely of her own strength, up to the person she knew to be the ultimate healer.

In the house, the rooms were filled with love. We sat with her brothers and other friends and family around the table, and I imagined a living picture that happens frequently. The laughter, the singing, the certainty with which they try to convince one brother that he was adopted, and the love. Filling and swirling around the room, around the house, love lived there, and
will live there still.

She met our Jesus on Friday night. Emma did. Hours after we left. She breathed in one last time, and went to be with Him. She met Him in that place where there is no pain, no sickness,
no tears. She met Him, and yesterday and today she walks with Him down the golden streets,
and alongside the crystal sea.

She now lives where Love is...

Ode to A New Year

2012-01-15T00:05:00.003-06:00

This year, I set off, hoping to make a few things true, right off the bat.

To begin with, I was determined to not allow my kitchen to go wild with dishes and chaos and disorganization any longer.
I was also determined to clean out my storage unit and to make sure it was very clean and organized.
I did also want to ring in the New Year in Chicago, on Navy Pier. I wanted to see midnight happen, with the crowds, and the fireworks.

Come January first I had done just that. I, with the help of me mum, organized my kitchen, with the help of some friends, reorganized my storage (actually more like a little storage locker thing in a room), and I did ring in the New Year in Chicago, on Navy Pier. I did see midnight happen, in the middle of a crowd, with a few friends, watched the fire works, and ran to the bus to get across town to the last train.

I was also pretty certain that I wanted to make it a goal to write at least one blog posting a week. I met my silent goal last week, but this week was hectic, although I did remember earlier today on Saturday. By the time I sat down I realized that it was actually 12:02 am, so technically Sunday.... I'm still counting it anyways!

Who else feels as though they are starting their New Year off right???

On Your Mark, Get Set...

2012-01-05T23:51:00.001-06:00

"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."
~Mark Twain

The "holidays" are over. My tree is packed up, sitting in my "dining room" waiting to be moved to storage. (My NEW tree, the one I have wanted, the tree have eyed for three years tree, the tree with all it's pre-lit glory, the tree I wanted, but I was determined to wait for a great great sale tree, is in my car.) My new sock monkey is sitting on my tv stand. My New Year's Eve crown is sitting on the couch beside me. My apartment smells like cinnamon, and I'm sitting on my couch, all comfy and cozy in non-matching comfy pants and t-shirt. I am happy.

And excited.

I am a fanatic, when it comes to new beginnings. I enjoy the anticipation, and the count down. I enjoy the 1st and the clean slate the "new" brings. This year, this year is no different.

We are almost at Day 6, 2012, and my anticipation has not dissipated. Instead, it's only grown. And I have a secret. A secret that not everyone may know. A secret that I am about to share. GOD has great plans for me. Okay, maybe that isn't a big secret, but it is enough to make me look forward to what is ahead, and NOT behind.

I heard a quote that was in a movie, and I feel as though it sums it up perfectly...

We need "to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps - our promises made, and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures - or closed ourselves down, for fear of getting hurt. Because that's what New Year's is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about 'what if' and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight - and it will drop - let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long."

Go on out there. Write your resolutions.
And rewrite them again.
Cross the one off you decide you hate 10 days in and make a new goal.
Run your marathon- or maybe half.
Cut back on all sweets, except for Saturdays and special holidays (and then every once in a while take secret delight in sneaking a piece of chocolate when no one is looking, and then don't feel bad about it.)
Take up your gardening or reading or exercising or yodeling.
Take your trip to Europe and backpack across the countries.

And, Don't forget to shine.

...Go.

*One last thing, my birthday is in 22 days.*

Just a Moment, Please....

2011-12-03T00:49:00.006-06:00

There are moments. Like this one.....

....When I am sitting in my comfy place, on my couch, or propped up in my bed....

....After I have just read a beautiful, or funny, or melancholy story....

....When my Charlie Brown-esque Christmas Tree isn't lit
(because, well, I have to redo the lights so that the plug-in
is not buried somewhere in the middle of the tree)....

....When I'm contemplating packing my bags for a trip to see
My Melissa, two weeks before I have to leave....

....When my face is hurting because I've been laughing....

....When I'm wearing my Goodwin t-shirt, and I'm reminded that I have friends, wonderful, best of the best friends, nestled in various places around the country....

....When the day I've been waiting for arrives.....

....When events are planned....

....I'm in the middle of a messy, creative project....

....I'm talking to Blanche....

....When fun secrets are in the air, along
with a bit of mystery and wonder....

....When I hear my favorite song on the radio....

....After a phone call....

....Looking through pictures....

....I just ignore the fear and take the jump....

....I have put pen to paper (or electronic ink? to screen?)....

....because it involves more laughing, and talking, and singing,

and dancing,
twirling, and LIVING....

....that I am reminded that I am so very, very blessed. And that life is good. And that God is great. And that it's not over. And that each day is a new chance to be more fabulous, and more amazing....

....when I make a choice to be happy, and at peace....

Lookin' forward to the journey- how about you come along?
“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” ~ Jean de La Fontaine

A Bird’s Eye... Strike that... A Camel’s Eye View

2011-12-01T23:14:00.007-06:00

Fall is the perfect time of year.

I will give you spring, and summer and winter are all beautiful for a short season, but fall. Fall is perfect.

I love the leaves changing colors. The crisp, cool air. I love breaking out the sweaters for the first time, and the smell of a good fall fire in the air.

This year, my friends and I decided to take a trip to an Apple Orchard. Imagine my delight when I learned that they were offering camel rides, and anyone, I REPEAT ANYONE, was allowed to ride, for a mere five dollars. I turned to Karen, and probably squealed with delight, "KAREN, It's a camel ride! I've always wanted to ride a camel!" With a shrug and a head nod, Karen decided she was game, and more than willing to ride the camel with me.

I questioned the booth people carefully. "Anyone can ride?"
"Yes."
"Grown up people?"
"Yes."
"Me?"
"Yes."
"Two tickets, please."

Strangely, Karen's boyfriend wasn't as excited about the prospect of the two of us riding the camel, but we didn't let that stop us. We stood in line in between a toddler and an eight year old, (proudly I might add) as Todd stood far, far away.

There may have been a few quiet whispers between Karen and myself.

"Karen, there are no other "big" people in line for the camel ride. They all have kids."
"Don't worry Stephanie. No one here will ever see us again."
I nodded. She was right, and that was enough for me! (And, honestly, I wasn't gonna let anything stand in the way between me and the camel.)

It was over far too quickly. We took two laps around the big (well somewhat small-ish) ring. The camel owners were kind enough to stop the camel long enough for Todd to take a picture of Karen and I atop the camel (pictures to be disclosed at some point later in the future). All too soon my ride was over.

Next up, I need to find someone with an elephant.....

*A view from the top

Anyone know how to "strike-through" in the title?

The Shepherd and the Treasure

2011-11-28T21:04:00.001-06:00

The shepherd was known to everyone in the town. The animals loved him, but so did the people. He was quiet and kind. He did not speak harshly. Even when someone was wrong, he would make it right. He would wrap his arms around him or her, and in his quiet, gentle way calm the storm.

A little girl lived in the town. Quiet and peaceful.

The little girl was stubborn. And, she was smart, but always underlying the "smart" was the stubborn. The fierceness and fieriness that comes when you are determined to do whatever it is you want to do. "I do it myself," she would say, and she would snatch her hand away, from the larger one offering assistance.

As she was playing outside one day, she came across a treasure. Never-mind the type of treasure, what it was, just know that it was a treasure. It was small, and it fit in the palm of her hand. It was sparkly and the most beautiful color. She knew immediately upon picking it up that she would never let it go. It would be with her always.

The shepherd saw her with the treasure, and he knew what she did not. He came beside her, and offered her a different treasure in place of the one she gripped so tightly. She would smile up at his kind face and say, No thank you shepherd. I have my own. He would smile, and pat her on the head and walk on.

What the shepherd knew, is what the little girl did not notice. That the treasure slowed her down. She still would play and sing and dance, but she moved slower, sang softer, danced less frequently. It was difficult, holding her treasure in her hand, and trying to move throughout the day. However, it was hers, and she could not put it down. Occasionally, as she was playing, she would feel a slight pain shooting through her hand and up her arm. She would examine the treasure, and sigh. Her treasure, though beautiful, had a sharp, cutting edge. Often as her treasure cut into her hand she would think about putting her treasure away, setting it aside, but she would shake her head no, and grip it more tightly. A treasure, after all, was worth the pain.

The shepherd would come by frequently, more and more often. Always with the same question, and she offered the same response.

The day came, however, when the pain in her hand could not be tolerated any longer. There was no playing. No singing. No dancing. Only silence. The little girl would sit with her arms crossed, gripping the treasure tightly. Her hand had begun to bleed. It was slow at first, but the sharp edge cut, and day after day it cut into the same wound that was trying to heal from her grip the day before. She loved her treasure. It was inexplicable the way she felt. The thought of setting her treasure down caused her more pain than the pain in her hand. Her mom and dad were wise. They would encourage her to put it down. She would shake her head, no. Her friends were kind, we'll take it from you, we will help you. She would walk away.

The shepherd would come by, and ask. Crying even still, she would look at him and say, "No shepherd. I love my treasure."

One morning, the little girl awoke. The day was no different than the day before. The sky was a gray, the pale gray that comes in the fall. Inside, however, the girl knew it was time. She needed to be free. She stood up. Put on her best dress and her shiny shoes, and walked outside and down a long path and to the river. She knew who she would find there, waiting for her, and she was right. The shepherd stood by the river, his eyes soft, his lips smiling.

She opened her hand, and with her other she grasped the treasure. She held it to the light, and examined it one last time. It was still beautiful, but instead of admiring the shine, she saw the edge. The sharp, and cutting edge. It was time. She walked to the shepherd, and stood beside him. He stretched out his hand, asking for her treasure, and she handed it to him. With her at his side, they walked to the edge and let the treasure fall into the water. The water swallowed her treasure whole, and swept it away.

The little girl sat right where she had stood, and cried sobbing tears. All the pain and frustration running down her face, and pouring out of heart. The shepherd sat down beside her, patting her head. Saying nothing, but waiting.

She opened her hand, and they stared at her wound. The deep, long cut that the treasure had made. He traced the wound with his finger. He then reached in to his satchel, and pulled out a different treasure. He held it to her, and this time she took it. It was magnificent, of the deepest, purest color. The light shined off it's surface. She smiled, and could hardly speak. This treasure was exquisite. Far outweighing the beauty of her old treasure. And it was smooth. No violent edges, nothing that would cause pain. "Oh it's beautiful," she whispered, and she tried to hand it back to him.

The shepherd smiled at her softly, and said, "Didn't you know? I've had this the whole time, just for you."

The little girl cried again. Not out of pain, but joy and peace.

Then, she started to dance.

Seeing

2011-08-25T15:13:00.003-05:00

A while ago I wrote a note and sent it to me mum:

I have to say, I believe in God. I believe God has a purpose for my lfie. I really do. But, For my whole life I felt as though I didn't belong anywhere with anyone. For once, I finally did. It's taken me a while to really put to words how I am feeling, and why I am feeling what I do and today it hit me. I BELONGED with someone. I had someone that I went with, that I fit with. I was an "US." It was nice. It was like becomming a part of a whole, when before I was only a piece. Now I feel like only a piece again. I don't want to feel that way. I want to feel whole and good and well on my own. Now that I've acknowledged that, I need to start working on feeling that way.

In response I received this (from my wonderful Mum):

Even though you felt like you didn't belong, the fact is you did. You just didn't believe you did. You believed you had to be an US to be ANYTHING. The fact is you are important enough to be enough on your own. That does not mean that the desire to share your life with someone is a flaw. It is not. BUT to be a PART of someone else you have to be a WHOLE person on your own. The goal here is to try new things on your own. GO meet some new friends. God is who can make you whole because HE is that one that will always be there. ALWAYS...there is no person that will always be there no matter how hard they try or want to...God wants you to feel whole in Him because until you really understand that you will only be a piece no matter what.

Of course, it got me thinking. Why did I feel as though I had a purpose during the time I was in the relationship, but the moment it was over I didn't? My purpose all the time was the same. Ultimately to be a light. And to be the best daughter, sister, family member, friend, manager, emplyee, human I can be. My purpose has never changed. I just have not had clear vision my whole life.

Hopefully my vision is beginning to clear.

New Day Same Story

2011-08-22T09:22:00.004-05:00

I decided to repost a post from three years ago. It summarizes a lot of how I'm feeling recently (aside from the fact that I'm NOT about to turn 30.)
Here goes:

This year I decided that since it was my last year in my 20s I needed to make some definite changes, not for anyone other than me. It's been quite the trip.

Everyone has a story right? A look at me, here I am story. Some stories are loud and in your face. Some are "girl/guy next door." There's teh sweet and the sour stories. The ones you wish you had never read, and the ones you wish you could never put down. And some, are quiet, every day, make the bed, fold the clothes, rise and shine, snow is falling, grab your umbrella, every day stories. And that, is me.

This is hard for me. To not fall into the dynamic, "Look at me! I'm amazingly amazing! I bring the hilarity to the hilarious!" type of crowd. Instead I fall into the everyday, like a whisper. A leaf falling. Marshmallows and scented candles. I have always thought it was other people's fault for missing me. For not seeing me. For forgetting my name, forgetting my face. But, really it's my own fault for not living in my own skin. Really living.

Someone told me that I try to please people to the point of sacrificing myself. With "WWJD" (What Would Jesus Do) ringing in my head, I decided a long time ago that I was going to sacrifice myself for other people. I decided that if nothing else, I am good at (well, memorizing large chunks of the Bible- woo- that's fun at a party) helping others. I can take care of other people better than I take care of myself. But then somehow over the years I got lost. Helping was no longer good enough; in addition to helping I had to make sure everyone else was happy. Then I changed from serving others to BECOMING for others, what those others wanted me to be. So I forgot. I forgot along the way who I was, and I never gave myself a chance.
Now, with the big 3-0 on the way, I have a lot of thinking to do. Tonight I went for a long walk, with the wind blowing by my face, chilling my nose, and I thought about how if I could be anyone person in the world who would I be. And, I've decided to be myself. I will admit, though, I'm a little afraid.

There are these things that are so very Stephanie- a little quirky and odd. I can't make right hand turns in any vehicle, and I always check the ceilings in new places for an escape in case of some type of invasion. (Because, the bathroom in JC Penny's is JUST where bank robbers would run??? -Nancy Drew did that to me.) And then any new book I open I always have to hold it close to my face and breath it in- I love the smell of new books. But these things are just small things. Things that I have been afraid of because they make me- me. And what if me being me isn't good enough?

At the same time that I am afraid, I also have this hope. There are these verses in the Bible that talks about how God made us, knows us and has a purpose for us. I had been thinking that perhaps He had forgotten about me in the middle of all the noise and all the hustle of the day, and that He might not seem me in between all the other people that shine a little brighter than me. But, I don't think He did after all. I think He made me me on purpose. I think He made me just "every day" so that I can have the chance to do all the things that other people might not get to do and really find it enjoyable. I get to be messy and silly so kids love me and want to hang. I get to over curbs (carefully- or you'll blow a tire), and I can laugh and think it's funny and have a good story to tell the next day. I get to find some kind of weird delight in taking a ride through the car wash while drinking my favorite beverage.

If you look for me, you will find me. I might be sitting in the back listening, (or talking if someone gives me an open ear-ha!) taking in the crowd. I very well could be trying to help make someone else's day better with some sort of a story involving me in some near death experience on some stairs. Maybe I'll be practicing one of my accents (okay, I really only have one), and there's the possibility that I will have some sort of chocolate in my mouth and a puzzle book in hand, but I most definitely will be learning who I am. I would ask for you to give me a chance, but everyone already has- it's time for me to give myself a chance.

I think this is probably the biggest adventure I'm about to go on- and I think it should be a pretty good ride.

One request though from all of you though: if you happen to ever see me wandering in the parking lot, come walk with me. It probably means that I forgot where I parked and could use some company while I scour the rows for my missing vehicle.

Gray

2011-08-11T10:54:00.004-05:00

I am about to be honest...
Generally I like to think of myself as an honest person, but this time I'm about to be painful OPEN and honest. Open being the operative word.

For over the last year and a half I have been dating someone. I do not tend to go too personal on here, because it's public, and my life is not. Recently, we broke up. For me, in that moment, life suddenly became shades of gray. I found that I had, within that time period of being an "us", forgotten all about the "me." It is difficult to remember what that is like. There are so many things that I enjoy doing, but I've forgotten all about them. There are so many things that I complete and I realize I'm waiting for someone on the other end to applaud for me and cheer for me. Now there is no applause or cheering. It's just my face and my voice. Quite honestly, it made me want to stop doing anything I've ever done and sit in a room with the lights off, in silence, shutting out the world.

The problem is, life doesn't stop. The world keeps rotating, and while I'm just sitting, life continues to happen all around me. People are LIVING. But I am not. Why am I writing all this? I don't really know. I have always found that writing is cathartic. Somehow putting pen to paper (or whatever you call when you are typing) puts things in order and sets things right. I need to be set right. For right now, I don't have much more to say. I'm sure I will be back, but for now I am going to be working on Me.

Always,

My Favorites

2011-05-05T18:56:00.003-05:00

Happy Mother's Day Mum!

I decided to link up an old post about the fabulous-ness of my mum and dad!

Love you!

Click here

Maybe

2011-05-01T18:43:00.002-05:00

I was an author. Of course, I was only eight, but still that's what I was.

When you are eight, the sky is the limit. Looking back now, I wish I had that same fortitude. The same belief that anything I wanted, I could have. That anything I put my hand to do, I would do it well.

At the end of my book, which I still have I have my ambitions written out. "One day I will be an author, a missionary and a teacher."

Maybe there's still time to be all three.

Easter

2011-04-22T08:28:00.002-05:00

A Butcher, a baker, a Fantastic Soup Maker...

2011-04-11T17:37:00.003-05:00

My mom had given a particular cookbook to my brother. Of course, he was ecstatic and ready to try out one of the special recipes on anyone present. He chose to make a fantastic soup. My mom picked up the ingredients, and a creation was born!

Unfortunately, I was unable to witness or taste the creation, but my mom took pictures to make sure that I could post this big event online...

Not only is he a basketball champ, and a Special Olympic Track and Field champ, but he can make quite the stew! Good job Bub!

Sticks and Stones...

2011-03-28T19:04:00.002-05:00

March, oh dear March. You are almost over, and I clearly did not meet my blogging goal.

Clearly.

However, there is still today, and tomorrow, and the month of April. We will see what those days hold.

But for today, I will have to be satisfied with...everything.

I was feeling truly inspired in my mind to follow NaBloPoMo because this month was all about "Words." However, my inspiration (as already stated) did not move much past my mind.

Words are, in fact, powerful.
They have the ability to draw you in to a story, full of delicious descriptions, calling the reader to turn the page and dive in deeper.
Words are powerful.
They have the ability to bring tears to eyes as a result of good news, and sad news.
And, while they most certainly cannot break bones, they have been known to break me.

Words do have power when we give it to them. When we allow people to determine our value.

Today, again, I was reminded that there is only one voice that I need to listen to, and regardless of what I may or may not have done, the owner of this voice always loves me.

Psalm 139
¹ You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

In A Word

2011-03-11T16:45:00.001-06:00

Today is a two for one day.
This month I had determined I would participate in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). This encourages you to post one post every day.

Ahem. It's March 11th.
Obviously, 31 posts in the month of March did not happen.

As a result, I have made another goal. Post 20 times in the month of March.

Be watching- "In a Word".

I Hear Voices

2011-03-11T16:33:00.004-06:00

The answer always come back: I. Am. Human.

But, maybe I should start from the beginning.

I have always heard voices in my head. Before all of you start nodding your heads in understanding, and saying, "Ohhhh, that explains everything," let me explain. I'm not talking about voices or even voices (like the country song) of friends, family, etc... (although periodically I do). The voices I hear are my own. My own negative, confused, anxious voices. They are hard to quiet.

What makes it most difficult is that fact that the voices are not rational; there is no reasoning with them.

What do they say?

You aren't good enough.
Your friends aren't really your friends.
They will leave you.
You will make large mistakes. They will not be able to be fixed.

I could continue, but you get the idea.

However, I'm tried of these voices. There are others I'd rather hear, One in particular. It's the louder voice of One who holds my entire life in my hands. And, as I try to make MY voices quiet, I want His voice to be louder.

His voice says:

You are wonderfully made.
I will never leave you. I will never forsake you.
I will forget and forgive any mistakes you have made.
Do not worry. DON'T WORRY. I will care for you.
I. Love. You.

This is my weakness. This is when I pray and pray and ask God to help me not be anxious and I ask Him WHY must I be anxious. Why must one day I wake up fine, and the next I find myself in a battle again. This is when I receive the answer that I am only human. And, while I have anxiety, others may have different difficulties.

Today is a new day. Today is a day when I am surrounded by positive people and positive light. Today is when I feel God's hand on my heart, and He is saying, "It's gonna be alright. I've got this."

Time for me to let Him.

There's always a possiblity!

2011-02-26T21:43:00.001-06:00

Check out one of my BFFUWD's pages on Facebook!
Just click LIKE.
See the great prizes that could be won!

Wednesday's Walk- A Ziplock of Pennies

2011-01-26T20:40:00.003-06:00

In college my mom was faithful at sending two packages to me a year. One in the fall, and one in the "spring". I use spring loosely, because she would typically send it to me between my birthday and Valentine's Day.

I love surprises. Granted, the packages always contained a few specific items. Always cookies. Always supplies for school. Always some sort of food to hide away in my dorm room.

There were always the unexpected surprises. My dad would have the packages shipped from his warehouse. Since I would work there in the summers, I knew the people in the warehouse. They would be given the job of packaging it up and sending it out. Imagine my surprise when I received a package one time that had been foamed. By foamed, I don't mean those little foamy peanuts. I mean foam. That sprays out of a shower head thing into the box, and it's hot. And then it turns hard. It took several people several minutes to finally get that box open!

Turning 20 was what seemed to be a turning point. No more a "teenager", but one step closer to being adult. (Although sometimes I don't know now if I reached adulthood yet.) This particular package was full of additional surprises. Twenties. Not bills. But, twenties. Twenty paper clips. Twenty post it notes. Twenty hearts. And cleverly done too. A candle holder had hearts around the top. There was a heart necklace---- all added up to twenty.

BUT, one thing I still have now is a ziplock of pennies. Twenty pennies. Twenty pennies from the year I was born. AND, twenty pennies, one from each year of my life.

I love the memory.

So, each day, as you celebrate your life remember:

Life is precious.
Each day is full of memories.
Remember them.
Look for the good in everyone around you.
Forget the bad.
Send me a package. I'll give my my address. (kidding, kidding!)

Here's to another year!

A Little Light

2011-01-23T21:17:00.007-06:00

I am sporting a new Kindle. It is amazing! Sorry for the product placement, however, the fact that I now have hundreds, (no thousands, no MILLIONS) of books at my fingertips at any given second, makes me a little excited.

The possibilities are now endless:

Not only can I read three books at one time, I can have the three books with me at all times (or 10 or 20).
There are hundreds of free books available electronically. Books I may never have thought about buying before, well, they are free! (Yes, I could have gone to the library, but now, I don't have to leave the house!)
Word on the street- I can get books from libraries ! (I don't know if it's true, or easy or practical. But the thought is great!)
I have always wanted to be able to read ALL of the Nancy Drew books. NOW, I can. And, I don't have to worry about storage!
I've just over used the exclamation point way too many times! That's how excited I (still) am!
Don't you worry though, I haven't lost my love of a bookstore, and the way the pages smell, especially when they are brand new.

Few other notes:

January is moving along.

There's been a trip to Wicked (Broadway in Chicago!)
Completing a school term
Got a cold, fought a cold (and won!)
Did a few "crafty" projects
In the middle of reorganizing my kitchen
I may have just taken out the trash (ugh, trash) wearing brown boots, an oversized shirt from the Caribbean, my favorite red coat, and cropped pants. These pants, I realized tonight, are probably supposed to end at the bottom of the knee. Some days, however, (like today) I am challenged height wise, and the pants are more closer to my ankle.
I have these brown boots. They are too big (I didn't quite realize when I bought them), but they are so warm. My life is different now.
And, Blanche is growing. However, about Blanche, does anyone have any ideas about how to keep her warm. She's by the door which is colder of course, but it's where she can be by the light.

Alright world. I think I'm off to read.....um. Sleep. Yes, off to sleep.

Love to all,

Great in '08, Fine in '09, Better than it's been in '10....

2011-01-12T19:37:00.004-06:00

Lookin' like heaven in Eleven....???? I'll have to work on it.

Needless to say, the new year has arrived. I've been working on remember to write out 2011 instead of 2010. (The challenges of January.) I've also been (forgive me snow lovers) praying for a nice easy winter. If you are on Facebook at all, you'll also note that I'm fighting a cold, fighting school and lovin' my new couch.

I thought it would be interesting to check out the last few years on my blog and see what I wrote for New Year's Eve since I started. Remarkably, I only found one that really referenced the new year.

I also linked up to my friend Jenilee's blog. She has a Wednesday's Walk. Seeing as I don't have a Mommy memory (since I'm not a mom yet) I decided to link up an old post about my favorite mom and dad!

Takin' on 2011,

(P.S. For those of you counting the days like I am, my birthday is in only 16!)

A Weekend Holiday

2010-12-21T22:00:00.002-06:00

Taking a trip down memory lane on this Wednesday.

This day, while not a holiday, was a fun day, and one that I'm glad I documented so that I can still remember it. A day with my dad.........

25 Things You May not know about Me

2010-12-15T16:22:00.004-06:00

(And after you read this, you may wish you still didn't know!)

My favorite color is red. Red red. Like fire engine red.
My heritage is part Cherokee Indian, German and Irish. My ancestry has been traced back to Wales in 1692 (on my mom's side).
I have two plants. One is a Ficus and her name is Blanche. One is a Pothos, and her name is Germania.
I have been to 37 states. One day I hope I get to the other 13.
Nancy Drew is my hero. Seriously. And, my secret (or not so secret) ambition is to be a detective.
I like clocks.
I enjoy writing. When I was younger I was always writing stories. I would sleep with pen and paper by my bed in case an idea came to me in the middle of the night.
I love the music from The Nutcracker.
I've been to Guatemala twice on mission trips.
I have a crazy imagination. Seriously. It's crazy.
I'm short. But, since I wear tall shoes, sometimes people don't realize it.
I like to dance.
I have been known to walk around my apartment in pajamas pants, a sweatshirt and high heels. Oh, just because.
I would like to go to Greece. And England. Oh, all of Europe.
Cinnamon candles are my favorite.
I like sitting in the floor.
I enjoy making things. I have crayons, markers, oil paints (and more!). I'm going to school to be a teacher, so that's the excuse I'm sticking with.
I'm going to school for teaching.
I went to school in Missouri. I remember people. But, ask Melissa, huge chunks of my memory are missing!!
Chips and Salsa are staples.
I love potatoes.
When I was younger I had five imaginary friends.
My cousin and I had our own "detective agency." He was Spike. I was Tracy. My brother was our trusty dog.
I practically know the entire movie, The Wizard of Oz by heart.
Fall is my favorite season. Hands down favorite.

(P.S. 9 days!)
(P.P.S. 26. I have always enjoyed counting down to events. Like, birthdays, (yes, usually mine) and Christmas!!!)

Tonight

2010-12-15T00:03:00.001-06:00

I really saw a shooting star.
I'll be honest. I did make a wish.
Don't ask me what I wished, though, I'm not tellin'.

(P.S. 10 days until Christmas!)

2010 In Review

2010-12-12T21:33:00.003-06:00

The year isn't over yet, by any means. We still have many days ahead of us. However, I was thinking in my mind tonight (That's an original quote by my friend Christy) about this past year.

It has been great. Lots of "new". Lots of old. Lots of the same.

There was a family vacation! Woot! Crusin' time!
There has been a new car. (Not new new, but you know new.)
A new job.
A new apartment.

There was a reunion in Texas.

The passing of a precious woman.

School has been crazy, lots of work. I was able to go to my friend's school and teach in her class.

There has been a lot in between. Visit to Nebraska. A visit from my Melissa and Carson.
God is good. Life is great.

Oh Ramona,

2010-12-09T23:38:00.003-06:00

As soon as I learned to read there was no stopping me. Kindergarten and my mama taught me to love words and words and words.

And then came Ramona. I read all of her books and loved her every one. (I'm actually pretty sure they are all shoved under my bed right now- either that or in the basement at my parent's house!) I always loved Ramona because things never went quite for her, and I can relate. After all, I was once again sitting at the stop sign (again) waiting for the light change to green. (The stop signs never change- just so you know.)

Tonight, yes people, I watched the movie. And, I laughed. Just like when I was nine.

Ramona is a mess. She is all imagination and sunshine and fearless.
I love her.

I love her imagination, and her ability to make red rain-boots look good with everything. Not only that, but her sense of style and difficulty matching (which is cuter when your eight) reminds me of my own!

Who else says things like:

"I color inside the lines sometimes. It just depends on the picture."
"I'm gonna say a really bad word. The worst word I think of.... Here I go. GUTS."
"Mom, I am nine years old. I think I can tell when I'm not wanted."
"I make your life colorful."
"She cannot tell kids to not make up words!"
"Terrifical..."
"Whatever I did wrong, I probably didn't mean it."
"I am extraordinary."

And Beezus sums it all up perfectly. "I hope nobody sees us out here. We're so weird."

Yes Ramona, you are extraordinary. I hope to be just as incredible as you some day.

Charlie Brown...

2010-12-07T20:16:00.002-06:00

...ain't got nothin' on me.

What you may or may not be able to see in this picture is that there are huge holes in between the branches. Regardless of how much I bend the branches, the holes are still there. I am also missing over half of my ornaments. However, if you turn off the lights, squint your eyes, and turn your head sideways, it almost looks ok! Regardless it's festive, and I like having the twinkly lights!

In other news. I almost -ALMOST- done shopping for Christmas. I cannot say that I am complete yet, because I need to finalize a few additional items. Last year at this time, (actually by Thanksgiving) I was done and wrapped. This year, not so much. Not that I mind hitting the shops!

Truth Be Told

2010-11-30T20:39:00.003-06:00

I am a complete fall person. I love the smell of burning leaves. I love the fire-y colors, and the crisp air. I also enjoy the not too hot, not too cold, t-shirts during the day and sweatshirt at night options. I would not mind if fall took care of 9 months of the year. However, I am also delusional. I live in Northern Illinois.

Truth be told, I usually feel like Summers are humid. Falls are way too short. Winter is like... well, think of something really bad then multiple it by 1 million times, worse. And, when Spring comes, although beautiful, it arrives too late. That being said, I do also enjoy each season. And, if there was a guarantee that winter would only last EXACTLY three months, I might not dislike it at all.

This year, I feel like we have had the pleasure of enjoying each season. Spring was amazing, and the Summer of 2010 offered plenty of opportunities for swimming and Six Flags. And, then came the glorious fall. And, it's still here. Now, Thanksgiving has come and gone, and the days of burning leaves are coming to a close. My pathetic, yes, pathetic Christmas tree is up (I still love it, even though I am in serious need of a Christmas Tree intervention.), presents are already arriving and are wrapped up underneath my tree. Yet, it hasn't felt like Christmas, and I haven't quite felt ready for its arrival.

Until today.

When I saw my first flurries, and a snowflake hit me in the eyeball.

Now, I'm ready.

But, why can't it be possible for it to snow and still be 50 degrees outside, and cover everything but the roads?

Finishing out the week....

2010-11-27T21:28:00.003-06:00

...of Thanksgiving.

Although, I have had a good run of blogging this month, I have missed a few days. However, I feel pretty good that I am back in the blogging world. That's my plan anyways!

There is of course, much to be thankful for this year, like any other year.
I'm closing this post out early.

More later.
Love to all,

John and I went to the circus

2010-11-23T20:26:00.002-06:00

Saturday night, we went and saw the Greatest show on Earth.

It was a lot of fun. On our way in to the United Center, in honor of my brother, we broke into a song. (If you've not heard it, call me, I'll sing it to you.)

This is for you John.

"John and I went down to the circus,
John got hit with a bowling pin.
We'll get even with the circus,
We'll buy tickets but we won't go in..."

I am thankful today for:

A good job
My couch =D
My teeth

Giving Thanks

2010-11-22T22:46:00.002-06:00

I love this time of year, and having a built in opportunity to remember the things I have that I should be thankful for. This week is going to be a busy one, (at least the first half) as I prepare to go home for Thanksgiving.

However, I want to be sure that I post something each day this week (although, yes, I missed the last few days). I am going to post at least one thing I am thankful for each day this week.

Although these may seem generic, they are true.
I have much to be thankful for!

God's grace
Friends
Family
A place to live
A good job

What are you thankful for?

On November 19th...

2010-11-19T21:05:00.003-06:00

In 1954: The first automatic toll collection machine is used at the Union Toll Plaza on New Jersey's Garden State Parkway.

In 1963: The 100 year celebration of the famous Gettysburg Address delivered by President Lincoln's given during the consecration of the Soldiers' National Cemetery at the site of the Battle of Gettysburg.

In 2006: Nintendo releases its newest video game console the Wii in North America.

In 1939: President Franklin D. Roosevelt laid the cornerstone for his presidential library at Hyde Park, NY.

In 1962: Actress, Jodie Foster was born.

In 2010: Had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and rice krispie treats, made by my aunt.

The Circus is in Town!

2010-11-18T19:29:00.004-06:00

This weekend, the CIRCUS is in town!
My Aunt Ellen, already arrived, and my mom, Aunt Janet, and brother are arriving tomorrow.....

Wait.

I didn't phrase that correctly. Let's give it another go.

This weekend, my family is coming (aside from my dad who is with his quiz team in Pennsylvania). My Aunt Ellen is in town from North Carolina, and is going to be staying in the area (well, between my place and Indiana/home) for a few weeks.

Saturday we will be going to the Greatest Show on Earth!
Sunday they'll head home, and a few days later I'll be heading there myself for some good ole Turkey.

I love the Holidays.

Snowy Days

2010-11-17T21:44:00.004-06:00

Not quite a holiday, but definitely a memory.

I'm linking up to Jenilee's Walk Down Memory Lane by posting a previous post regarding a holiday memory. You can check out Jenilee's blog here.

College was, of course, an amazing time. Amazing, stressful, fun, crazy, stressful, exciting, stressful. Add to the mix some ice, cafeteria trays, and a big hill....

Ice Trucker Anyone?

2010-11-16T23:03:00.002-06:00

I am on my way to sleep, however, I needed to accomplish a note of some sort. In order to keep me awake, I flipped to the history channel and immediately became engaged, in the Deadliest Roads.

These people are either really brave, really nuts, or a little of both. I'm pretty sure I know several people who would be able to successfully handle driving on the world's dangerous roads. I'm also pretty sure, I'm not one of them.

Miscellaneous Monday

2010-11-15T19:51:00.002-06:00

Mondays are always a little unexpected. Yes, I know they come around every seven days. I know they have their rightful place between Sundays and Tuesdays, but you just never know what Mondays could bring. Will you wake up late or early? Will there be traffic or will others decide to call in for a three day weekend? More importantly, will I get done on my list what I want to get done on my list? That's the real question the world should be asking.

Truth be told, I'm still not sure if I will cross off everything on my list.

This particular Monday started off well. I woke up on time, and arrived to work early (even after stopping at the grocery store for breakfast fruit for work). I managed to live through the day (which is another triumph all together- remember, it's a Monday) without any trials. I can cross off the grocery store because I made it there too!

I am now home. I changed into my comfy clothes within two minutes of arriving. Meanwhile, all my groceries are sitting right in front of my door. I should probably put them away. I should also do my laundry.

Then again, maybe I'll just sit on my couch and watch an episode of Matlock?

Until tomorrow,

Sunday Sunday

2010-11-14T20:16:00.003-06:00

Well, I had was well on my way to blogging daily throughout the month of November, and then Friday happened. And, I forgot. Then Saturday came, and.... I forgot again! Hah!

The positive thing is, I can always start again. So, here's to the beginning of a new week, and a new day.

Thoughts to Think On

2010-11-11T21:06:00.003-06:00

Today, I don't have a lot to say. I'm wondering again why I decided to sign up to post a blog a day. But, I'm always up for a challenge. I'm 11 days in now, and 19 to go.

I have decided that today will be a few of my favorite quotes.
If you have any other quotes that you would like to share, please do so!
*****

"Be slow to speak, and quick to listen." James 1:19

"It's a dream, a frightful dream, life is..." Commodus

"Stop judging by mere appearances and make a right judgment." John 7:24

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
Henry David Thoreau

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes."
Charles R. Swindoll

"Laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live."

"Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back."
Gladiator

"What we do in life echoes in eternity." Maximus

Wednesday's Walk- Christmas Time

2010-11-10T18:57:00.003-06:00

Hi All!

I am hopefully going to continue this for a while. I am joining my good friend Jenilee, on her blog on Wednesdays, for Wednesday's Walk!

See info below:
*************

Wednesday's Walk will be getting lazy! No extra posts or pictures to scan or memories to write...
November 17th through December 29th we will be having a lazy walk down memory lane!
How?
Each Wednesday through the holiday season, link up an old post instead of writing a new post! Join in with a past holiday post or a favorite post from your first blogging days!
Link up any post right here at The Goodwin Family blog and enjoy blogging the lazy way!

So fun, right?

I know I have old posts that would be fun to link up!

This is going to be so lazy that you don't even have to go in and add a button to your old post or worry about editing it at all. Just link it up as is!

We did make a button for our lazy blogging Holiday Wednesday's Walk. You can add this button to your blog just to let everyone know that you are participating! We would love to have anyone join in! Even if you don't normally link up, you can walk down memory lane with us the lazy way! Dig back in your blog, find a favorite post and link it up with us on Wednesdays.
*******************
So going back to December 2008, imagine it's Christmas Eve.....

Random facts and figures (no figures, but it seemed to go with facts)

2010-11-09T20:01:00.005-06:00

Update to Germania:
She is doing even better today!

Update to time change:
42 days until December 22, when the days start becoming longer. At this point, I'm turning on lights, music, TV, whatever, until the sun stops setting at noon. (That's only a slight exaggeration.)
To create your own countdown go here: www.timeanddate.com

Update to school:
Homework, homework, homework. The end.

Update to Texas Reunion:
The story is not done. More to come. As soon as I finish writing it.

Update to cooking:
I've done more recipes. More experimenting. Mostly really good. And, a lot of chicken.

That's all for now!
Enjoy the beautiful weather. Did I say beautiful?! It is amazing. I love it.

Love always,

Plant Love

2010-11-08T18:34:00.003-06:00

I have mentioned my first plant child (a ficus), Blanche, on multiple occasions. A few months ago, I bought a second plant child. This plant is a Pothos. Her name is Germania. She is green and beautiful. And, while Blanche has the privilege of being my first plant, Germania is growing in my heart.

This morning, when I arrived at work, my beautiful plant was drooping. Apparently the weekend, lack of sun (I forgot to open the blinds) and the need for water had overwhelmed her. So, as any plant parent would do, I took action. I watered her, rubbed a few of her leaves, and said a few soothing words.

A few hours later, I looked at Germania and noticed that her drooping leaves had already started to revive and lift up. A little water went a long way.

Sometimes, I realize I am a little droopy. My heart is sad, my attitude is worse and laying on my couch is the only place I want to be. It's during those times that I need more than a little drink of water.

Those times, are times that I must remember to turn to the Keeper of my heart, and the Lifter of my head. He is better than a little drink of water.

Where's Waldo?

2010-11-07T17:56:00.002-06:00

Giving Thanks

2010-11-06T15:07:00.002-05:00

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.
~Gilbert K. Cherston

Are you thankful today?

Much love,

13 months and counting

2010-11-05T20:49:00.003-05:00

The past 2 years have been a new experience for me as well as for all my friends and family (So sorry for all the drama)! I've started to work toward my graduate's degree in Elementary Education. At this point, I'm on track to graduate in January 2012. I am very excited. I also really enjoy learning and going to school, however...There are days when I am not sure that I am cut out to be a full time student. I am not quite sure how I managed to do it the first time around, let alone doing it now as a full time employee! I have persevered, however, due to a lot of encouragement and support.

10 Ten Things that I Will Not Forget: (after two years back in school)
1. I have always been a late night person. I still am. I was never an early morning person. I'm still not. Staying up late + getting up early = Cranky.
2. Worrying incessantly about whether or not you passed a test is not a good way for a person to spend the weekend. Plus, I'm pretty sure worrying can cause ulcers. It also can cause violence. I have been threatened that the next time I say I failed a test I will be beaten. So this next time around I will do my best to not say anything about failing. I cannot guarantee that I won't think it. But, I won't say it. That's a start right?
3. Encouraging words actually helped me make it through. There were moments when I thought I might not.
4. As a young college student, I could live without pizza. I still can.
5. The Geometric Proof. I finally can figure out a proof. I still don't know why I need to know how to prove a triangle is an isosceles, but if I need to, I'm all over it.
6. The Nez Perce tribe are from the Pacific Northwest. I will not forget this.
7. The three paintings, Battle of the Amazons, Heart of the Andes and the Volga Boatmen are very similar.
8. Eunice Kennedy Shiver helped to found and create the Special Olympics.
9. Staying up until midnight- bad idea at 20. Definitely a bad idea now.
10. Every child, is valuable. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Got Stress?

2010-11-04T22:48:00.002-05:00

*I received this in an email and that it was excellent email.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 2 oz to half a pound.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier
it becomes."

He continued,
"And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
as the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water,
you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow."

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
let them down for a moment if you can.
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while."

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.

* Always wear stuff that will make you look good
if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
"recalled" by their maker.

* If you can't be kind,
at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

* When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and
some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but
they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Day of the Reunion

2010-11-03T20:22:00.004-05:00

Back to the Lone Star State.
Saturday, we woke up ready to roll. The day started off hot and humid, but the sky was clear and beautiful.

Of course, first things first. We had to go by Sonic for refreshing beverages.

New Shady Grove Missionary Baptist Church

Walking in

My Bubba

That's all I have time for today. More to come later.
************

In other news:

I've broken out the humidifier.
I still haven't turned on my heat. I generally have a rule that until it gets down into the 30s/40s I will not turn it on. We've hit that mark, but I'm still holding out for 50s/60s. I realize that we really have had a beautiful fall. I'm not quite ready for it to be over.
Despite my new furniture, I have a habit of sitting on the floor. A lot. A lot, as in I'm sitting on the floor right now, leaning on my couch.
Chipotle has a way of making a rough day, better. For that matter, so does ice cream.

A Thousand Words are Worth a Picture

2010-11-02T20:30:00.003-05:00

Note: Not enough comments on the previous post to remove the picture of my mum. If there are more, I'll take it down!

Back to Texas.

We drove on Thursday and Friday. On our way, we stopped at a gas station and my mum walked out with BLUE BELL ice cream. People, if you have never experienced Blue Bell ice cream, stop what you are doing, and go get some. Nothing like it. We also drove through Jefferson, Texas, where I snapped a few pictures, and drove by my mom's old house. More Jefferson stories to come.

Who wouldn't love a town that has this displayed???

Late Friday afternoon landed us in Carthage. I was crabby. I have always been a people person. I consider myself an introverted extrovert. I love being with people, visiting, hanging with friends. Love it. However, after living on my own for so long, I've grown particular and I like things my own way. I also need some quiet to myself every day, or yes, I'm a little testy. This day was no exception. My family, however, is very forgiving! (Fortunately for me!) We unloaded, got settled in to the hotel room, and headed out to visit my Aunt and Uncle.

At this point, the story tellings and memory making began. I would love to wrap the weekend up in a picture. But, the stories and laughter and events of the weekend cannot be compressed into a picture. But a thousand words, might just do it.

(Just wait til you hear about the goat man. Yes, he's real.)

"Rockin' Down the Highway"

2010-11-01T19:28:00.006-05:00

As I mentioned previously, I traveled to Texas to a family reunion in June. My life has been full of trips and vacations to Texas. I remember when I was eight, piling into the van and making what I thought at the time, a quick 30 minute drive and pulling up to my Grandma's house. (Granted I was eight. The age when going an hour feels like 20, and apparently going 23 hours feels like 1!) This trip was different for multiple reasons.

To begin with, we were going to a family reunion that I had never been to. In fact, my mom hadn't been to it, in a LONG time (maybe 20 years - I don't remember). Follow that up with the fact that my dad wasn't going to go, and I have only been to Texas one other time without him. Aside from that my aunt and cousin were also going, we were taking two cars, and caravan-ing. We had plenty of snacks, a map, my camera, and a destination.

I believe in documenting all of life's adventures with pictures. I am sure that this does not make me popular with many people, however, it is good fun for me!

Packed up and ready to roll

I am fairly certain that at this particular moment my mom was threatening my life if I posted this. So, mum, here's my deal. You get 10 people to write a comment on my blog, I'll remove this picture! (And, it'll probably save my life.)

The first two days were filled with lots of road time. There was singing, sleeping, and yes, taking pictures.

More to come,

A Family Reunion

2010-10-30T20:34:00.004-05:00

I have been storing up memories in my mind from my June trip to Texas. We went to a family reunion on my mom's side. It was seriously a great weekend. It was a fast week/weekend.

While we were there we had the opportunity to see multiple houses that my mom and her family lived in over the years. It was amazing. Ironically enough, about that time I heard a country song, sung by Miranda Lambert that I feel sums it up.

House that Built Me

I know they say you cant go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

You leave home, you move
on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

My Grandpa

Miss Hunter hits the classroom

2010-10-27T19:54:00.005-05:00

Last week and today I went to my friend Karen's school. I was able to teach a group activity in science, as well as a lesson on spelling and vocabulary and how to use the dictionary. I loved every single second of it. A lot of work, but as I stood watching the kids working together, bending down over their pages, intensely working, I realized that THIS is exactly what I want to be doing.

Today, I went back and worked on a bulletin board as part of an assignment.

I was excited about how it turned out so I wanted to share a couple of pictures!
It's not complete yet, but almost!

I have to be honest, I get excited any time I get to use markers, construction paper and scissors! (Especially when I have an excuse!)

Here and There and in Nebraska

2010-10-24T20:42:00.004-05:00

(I've been writing in my mind. Does that count?)

The past few months have been filled with STUFF. Work stuff. Friend stuff. Family stuff. School stuff. You get the picture, or the story. Plenty of things to write about. I WILL be writing about my trip to Texas, which was amazing, and fast and a lot of fun. I also went to my amazing friend's (and teacher) school this last week and actually taught! a few lessons, which confirmed that I'm actually doing something that I want to do! It's easy sometimes to get caught up in the work, and I forget what I'm working TOWARD.

This weekend I am in Nebraska (go Huskers!) with one of my longtime friends, and one of my best friends in the whole wide world! It's a quick weekend, but full of "visiting" (as I like to say), lots of hugs and kisses, baby cuddles and pump-cakes. (Pumpkin cupcakes- can everyone say YUM!) Yesterday we strolled through the pumpkin patch which was full of smelly animals (spitting camels, goats, sheep) and well, pumpkins. We went on a hay rack ride and I snapped pictures of the amazing countryside. (Pictures that I am sure are only enjoyable to me! But beautiful none the less.) The sun was bright, and the leaves looked like fire. It was an amazing day.

Tomorrow I'm heading back to my life. But for now, I need to go. Josh and Melissa just walked out with some meat and cheese and I wanna eat a snack.

If you are a reader, and you would actually read what I wrote, would you mind hopping over down to the comment section and leaving a nice little note?! =)

Non Labor-ous Labor Day Weekend

2010-09-06T21:47:00.003-05:00

This weekend involved:

Sleeping
Going to church
Nap times
Movies with the fam
Drives through the country
Chicken and dumplins
Essenhaus

Tomorrow is back to work!
Happy Monday everyone!

Red High Heels

2010-09-02T19:52:00.003-05:00

I wanted to buy them, but my safety and the safety of others would be in jeopardy, should I have decided to buy these lovely red shoes!

Miss Vicky

2010-09-01T21:53:00.004-05:00

On Sunday, a friend from the church I previously worked at passed away.
Tonight was her Memorial Service, and while it is sad to let someone go, it is also a celebration to know that she lived a long life, and that she is now whole and well.
Miss Vicky, I love you, and I'll see you again.
****
I loved Miss Vicky right away.

I believe that was in part because she brought so many children to church. And, I loved those kids.

I also loved her because of her imperfection. She was rough around the edges. She was a work in
progress. She was beautiful.

She said one time that her favorite song was He’s Still Working on Me, and when she said that I felt as though I saw immediately into her heart.

What she knew was that she was still a work in progress. And, while many of us get down,
and stay down, feeling defeated, and unworthy, she would get back up and go at it again.

I know that I was not privy to her everyday life, and all her struggles, but I saw her faith as she would raise her hands to God, and pray. What Vicky knew was that God was forgiving and accepting. She knew that she would fail, she would make a mistake, and she knew that God would look at her, and take her back, forgiving those imperfections.

I have hope in the same God that Vicky believed in.

She knew that she was offered a gift of forgiveness and she took that forgiveness and worked to share it with others. That is why she would bring so many children to church. That is why she would pray for her family and friends; and because she wanted to be a light to others that is why she hung tightly to the promise that God makes us new. He wipes our old selves away, and makes us new.

Her life was an ongoing testimony that to serve God, and to love God, we need not be perfect. We must be repentant. We must have faith and belief in Christ.

My prayer is that although this is a sad day, you will all find peace that only God gives knowing that she is now whole and well. And while I selfishly want to see her and hug her and kiss her one more time, I would not wish her back. She is with our Jesus.

Miss Vicky, your prayer is my prayer, and your song is my song.

“He's still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me.

There really ought to be a sign upon the heart,
Don't judge her yet, there's an unfinished part.
But I'll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands.

In the mirror of His Word reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me.
He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He's the Potter, I'm the clay.”

Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway...

2010-06-14T22:22:00.005-05:00

In just two days, I will be on the road heading to a family reunion. I'm excited.

There is the driving factor; but it doesn't seem to bad. My fam and I will be driving down the road in two vehicles. We'll be packing lunches and snacks, stopping at various places. Seeing the sights, and maybe picking up a meal at Sonic.

There is the rest factor; There will be hotel stops and trips to the pool. We'll be taking pictures, playing games. There will be laughter. Inevitably my mom and my aunt will do things to embarrass me and my cousin and brother. Inevitably, I'll join in on the fun, and we'll torture my cousin until we catch him smiling on camera. I'm sure there will be singing, and probably a little southern talkin' as well.

There is the family factor; Sometimes, it's easy to forget what's important. It's easy to get busy, and worried and stressed, and wrapped up in the little things. Laundry, bills vacuuming and let's not forget the trash and getting gas (two of my least favorite things to do). Then, something happens, maybe it's little thing. It could be a card, or a commercial, or a Bible verse. Sometimes it's looking at pictures. But something happens, that makes you remember and think of what's important. And that's family and friends. I love my family, and I am so looking forward to spending time with them, and seeing the family I've not seen in so long.

I suppose I should start packing!
Happy Monday, ya'll!

June Days

2010-06-11T21:43:00.007-05:00

This weekend I have the pleasure of having a friend hang with me. Which is GREAT. She's going to be leaving soon to head out to California, so it's nice to have time to hang together! Tonight we went to Cheesecake Factory (oh my word- so good) watched a movie, chatted, etc.... You know fun girl stuff.

I'm sure not all of you remember this, but I previously (previously as in, before school and new job) I liked to pull out one of my many cook books and try cooking something new.

I've tried my hand at that again a few times.

The results turned out, well, I must say not too bad.

Ingredients for chocolate covered strawberries and stuffed peppers:
(And the glasses in the back? I like drinking milk out of those!)

Chicken Asparagus Pasta:
And one of my best memories with Lou. A little shoe shopping!

'Nite to all.
Talk to ya,

Way to Go!!!!!

2010-06-10T09:20:00.002-05:00

Last night I was a little distracted by this so no blog post as a result.
Will post again tonight!

Just to prove I've not forgotten

2010-06-08T22:07:00.002-05:00

I have a new kitchen cabinet. I love it. I took a picture and had planned on posting it here, but it's not uploading on my computer.

So..... soon. I realize I've said it multiple times, but soon I'll get the pictures posted!

Night all!

Monday, Monday

2010-06-07T21:59:00.004-05:00

I decided to take weekends off from writing. I'm hardly back in to the game, but I'm forcing myself =) Not that I have too much to say.

I decided to write 10 random facts about myself that you may, or may not know.

Red is my favorite color. Always. I like that it's bright and vibrant and bold. All the things I would like to be myself.
I bought a picnic basket today. Sometimes I hate Target. They have such bright colors and fun outdoorsy items, I had to buy it. It screams me. Can you hear it from where you are at?
When I write out a to do list, I always include things I have already done, just so I have something I can automatically cross off.
One day, I would like to go to Greece. I would also like to do an Alaskan cruise, and a Mediterranean cruise. One day.
Currently I am reading two books at once.
The one item I lost in my most recent move was my keyboard pedal.
I love eating tomatoes with salt.
I keep forgetting to buy a scanner for my computer. But, as soon as I do, I have plenty of pictures that will incriminate a lot of people. You know who you are. There were plenty of Bible Quiz trips, camps and choir tours to take down just about all you Calvary kids. As I said, you know who you are. =)
Super Mario Brothers is my favorite video game.
When I was growing up, my favorite band was Petra. Look them up. They were COOL.

All for now.
On to Tuesday!

Writing before midnight....

2010-06-04T23:45:00.003-05:00

Giving myself a deadline for posting has actually worked well. This was started before midnight on June 4th, so I'm counting it for today.

Summer (while it's not actually here yet, it's here), is starting off quite nicely. The weather has been wonderful, a mixture of hot, and humid, cool, breezy and thunderstorms.

Tuesday night, my friends and I met at a restaurant in a nearby town. The weather was perfect. The bugs, while they appeared to enjoy eating up my friends, stayed away from me. We sat outside eating, talking and laughing, until it was definitely past the time to go.

Tonight, I was off to Six Flags. The beauty of a season pass, is you can show up for an hour, and ride seven rides. Parking is free. The park is free. And, hey, the laughter is free.

The night was perfect for driving with the windows open. So, we did.

Happy summer everyone!
Life is good.

And, I'm back

2010-06-03T20:14:00.002-05:00

That hardly was a blog post. however, I figure, my blog, my rules.
So I'm modifying my goal to be 30 posts, in 30 days. I figure this will be a good way to keep my mind working while not in school.

I could use writing prompts that the website offers up. The other thought I had was to google writing prompts.
That led to all sorts of fun and interesting topics. None of which were standing out to me for tonight, but maybe during one of these 27 remaining days.

Tonight, the weather is beautiful. It's cool, and beautiful. The sun is setting, and the first day of summer is quickly approaching.

I am happy.
How about you?

Ciao friends,

Not one to quit....Well, not really anyways....

2010-06-03T20:12:00.002-05:00

Well, as I said this blogging M-F (which I checked the "rules" and it's really every day of the month) would be a challenge. I made it one day in. So I decided today I'd write twice.

So. I'll be back!

National Blog Posting Month

2010-06-01T21:42:00.002-05:00

I was around thirty feet. I had sixty more to go to reach the top, and I didn't want to move. I had repelled down, just about an hour previously, 120ish feet. At that moment, (the moment I reached the bottom), I was relieved. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins like a pulse. I was done with my challenge. My "fear" of heights didn't beat me. Then, I was grabbed, the rope was hooked to my harness.
"You're going back up."
Ummm...
I was gonna hike up the trail to the top.
But now. I was strapped in. Helmet was firmly in place. Belay was on, and I was going up.
The adrenaline was pumping again. That's when I found myself thirty feet up standing on a ledge. Stalling.
I didn't want to move. So, I didn't...at least for a while.

The cries from below were loud. "Stephanie, you can do it! You can do all things through Christ!"
That wasn't the point. I didn't want to climb.
But, would it be possible for us to get a rescue squad to get me down?
*****

I signed up for National Blogging Month. I signed my name to the commitment. What's the commitment? I am required to write each day, Monday through Friday (I think just M-F). I may only make it through one day. Maybe two. Regardless, here's a toast to my best effort.

Updates:

I finished my last term for school, (this could be old news, but oh well). I decided to take three months off. Settling in to my new apartment, and into my new job have been taking up much of my time. August will come, and I will start again. For now, my brain is enjoying the break.
In the mean time I have been reading. Books and books and books. Fun books as I call them. I have enjoyed losing myself in the stories. Practicing piano. Hanging with friends. Putting up pictures. Relaxing.
May closed out with a visit from the family. The 'rents and my bub came for a visit. We ate. Played games. Watched movies, and over all had a great weekend.
Over the next month, I'll be doing much of the same. Interjected with a trip to Texas, to a family reunion. Concerts and Six Flags. Hopefully some beach time with Party Barge II and some trips to the pool.

*****
By the way, I did reach the top. We all celebrated. We danced and high fived as each person came up and over the top. There were tears. There was laughter.
I am glad I decided to move. And, it's been said before, but the view is always better from the top.

That's all for today.
Wish me luck on writing tomorrow!
Love to all,

Mi Casa, Su Casa (and the Final Cruise Update-Day 8)

2010-04-05T21:57:00.005-05:00

It has only taken me, oh two months to post this last final update from my cruise way back when, but here it is! (You'll note that it is much shorter, but it was the final day to take in the view!)
***********************
Final update from the sea.
Today we're in the Bahamas. I had fully intended on para-sailing or kayaking. My plans were thwarted. Not that you can read the disdain in my voice (especially since I'm writing this down), but I am rather annoyed. It was too chilly, and rather windy, so kayaking was out. The jet skis would have been great, but they don't rent those out, "Only for the life guards." Then I thought, okay, I'll para-sail, but it was $85 for 5 minutes. I decided to pass.

The rest of today was very uneventful. We went back to the ship and sat in the hot tub for a few. Then I decided to take a little nap. (Nothing like a little sleep time!) I packed up and hung out with the family.

Tomorrow we'll be back on land, and Monday back home.

Other news:

I am....in! And, actually more than just in, I'm all unpacked and settled. I am still slightly confused, and not sure what to do with myself. I have SO MUCH room. I know I've said that, but I can't quite wrap my head around it. Pictures of the new place to come.

In addition, now the fun stuff to come! I have a pile of decorations in the corner, and now to determine where they go!

Anymore, I'm not sure what normal is, but I feel like I'm approaching normal again. (Fingers crossed on that one.)

Oh the Places You'll Go!

2010-03-26T15:35:00.004-05:00

I am sitting in my apartment, literally surrounded by boxes of.. STUFF. I am moving. I feel like I should say, moving again although I guess it's not really been so recent as to say again, but it feels that way. Three years ago I moved to my apartment, and I was extremely excited. It was a new little place, cute and perfect for me.

I am just as excited to be moving, this time, ten minutes from where I currently live. I always find it amazing to look back and see what's changed. Yes I moved three years ago, but more than that, life is different now. New job, back to school, new decade. In the middle of all of this "chaotic-ness" I have been riding a bit of a roller coaster. I tend to not do so well when I feel like things are in an upheaval. That's what they have been as of late. But, here I am looking into next week, knowing that things will be okay, they will calm down (as much as life can be calm) and it will all be good.

Just a few weeks ago, my friend Cindy, looked at me and said, "Why do you think God can't give you good things?" I was at that moment experiencing anxiety. Waiting to hear about my new apartment. Waiting to start my new job. Waiting. Waiting. Worrying. It struck me, at that moment, that she was right, I don't always expect good things from God. While I hope, and sure even pray, for something good to happen, I find I rarely expect it. Why? I don't know. And yet, His awesomeness does surround me. He does bless me with good things- family, friends, good job, good car. His Word even says that He has plans for those who trust Him, follow Him and commit to His ways.

Psalm 81:6
He says, "I removed the burden from their shoulders;
their hands were set free from the basket."

So as I pack, and move, I am reminded that He will continually have good things in store for me.
What about you?

Quick updates:

This is the big move weekend! Today I picked up my keys, and tonight I begin the transfer of objects! Tomorrow I'll be all set! Maybe not unpacked, but at least moved in!
My new job started just a mere five days ago. So far, so good. Lots of reading and meeting new people, learning new things, and it'll be a challenge, but I'm up for it.
My term is almost up for the school year. I've finished all my exams. I will be taking a break for a few months as I get ready for the next term to begin.
I have ONE more day to post about my cruise journey, but I've had a bit going on. More to come very soon.
Time to change the blog template. Despite the snow we had just a few days ago, I'm pretty sure spring is about to settle in. Spring, for me, always comes with hope. Who doesn't love hoping that warm weather, sunshine and flowers are on the way!

A Pirate's Life for Me (Cruise, Day 7)

2010-03-05T21:18:00.015-06:00

Friday January 22, 2010
Destination: Caribbean Sea (Saturday)

(Note: I am having a major font issue. Sorry for the different sizes and styles. You may not care, but it's driving me nuts! Any tips on permanently fixing this issue?)

Today was a day at sea. Keep in mind, the last time we actually were at sea the whole day, I wasn't quite feeling well. Today, however, I felt good. I was completely recovered from the night before. I felt good enough to walk around the boat, explore the sights, listen to the sounds, and dance to the beat.

My mom and I packed a bag, and set out with the daily cruise schedule, a book, a puzzle book, and video games. We were set. (I also had my large jug of water.)

First up, we headed to the pool side. "Sounds of the Caribbean." Not quite sure that it was authentic Caribbean music, but it was fun, the singers sang well, and the other members of the band were thoroughly excited about their gig. We had, I must admit, already eaten lunch. There was, however, a bar-b-que going on on the deck of the pool. My mom and I had to do a little sampling. Sometimes there's nothing better than a bar-b-qued hamburger, corn on the cob and a little side of fruit.

The Caribbean Musicians (And apparently some weird man, who may have thought I was taking a picture of him. I should crop it- maybe later.)

Next up, napkin folding. This is a serious business. A few things everyone should keep in mind if you decide to fold napkins:

Make sure the napkins are crispy-not crispy dirty, but crispy ironed.
Stiffer napkins fold easier and keep the shape.

Planning a dinner party? I can fold your napkins into a Bishop's Hat or a Lotus Flower. Give me a ring and I'm there.

I was lighting my mom's napkin candle.

Next up, off to hear some classical music. As a super, super, super amateur piano player, i love listening to classical piano music.

On to the next event, swing dancing.

My mom and I were gonna partner together. But, apparently we HAD to have a dance partner. I got put with this weird skinny guy. I think he about whipped my arms out of their socket. I’m no pro at swing dancing but HE was supposed to be the lead. There are four main steps to swing dancing. (Listen to me, er, read me. I sound like I'm an expert.) Well, this dance partner guy, he was TERRIBLE. He said to me at one point “oh the guy isn’t coming over here, it must be because we’re doing so good!” Um, no. Can anyone say whiplash? I'm surprised I can still use my arms and that there wasn't permanent damage done!

All of the things the guy told us to do, well, my dance partner paid no attention to them. And, he was so tall, he’d stretch out his arms, and fling me. My mom commented later about how it didn't look much like dancing, but instead like a violent attack. Imagine for a moment being me. I'm still traumatized. I was relieved when he had to leave early before the class ended.

In the meantime, while I was living through an act of terror, my mom was partnered with the DANCE TEACHER. Everyone was jealous of her because she was dancing with him. As we were leaving the comments were very kind to my mom. "Wow, you got to dance with the teacher! And you were so good too!"

Once my dance partner left, my mom and I just danced together. It was fun fun fun.

Dancing.

We then rushed back to our rooms and dressed all fancy for the evening festivities. Dinner, and then family pictures. We waited in a long line, but then sat and ate a delicious meal. (I tried lobster, which was amazingly much better than the bit of lobster I had tried before.) It was laughable when they brought out the appetizers. Apparently the purpose of an appetizer is to make a person hungrier.

The appetizer.

Lounging before the show.

For the next activity of the day, my mom and I went and saw Cirque Bijou.

Everything finally concluded with the chocolate bar. Chocolate fountains, chocolate statues, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!

A chocolate Eiffel Tower. (I would have liked to have eaten that thing.)

I had a fun, relaxing day!

Oh, it's just another day...

2010-03-04T20:18:00.006-06:00

I haven't finished the final days from my cruise. I will finish it up soon. But for now some updates!

New job. Some of you may be rubbing your eyes and re-reading that two word sentence, but yes people. It's true. After being a CSA for nearly seven years at my beloved place of employment, I now have a NEW JOB. I'm still at the same place. But, I am no longer a CSA. I will be a Benefits Operation Manager (or BOM). What will I be doing? I have no idea. Ask me in 2 weeks.
New phone. Exciting, eh? It's a touch screen.
Stop signs. Apparently I'm distracted. Last night I was driving to the gym, and I made a routine stop at a stop sign. There I sat, and sat, and sat...for about three minutes. I was waiting for the light to change to green. Um?..... I have no idea. Fortunately, I figured it out before anyone came along behind me. Although maybe if they had I wouldn't have been waiting for so long!
It could be in the 40s this weekend. Can I hear a 50? Hello, Spring? Is that you???

Chatanooga? No make that Chacchoben. Mexico (Day 6)

2010-02-22T21:26:00.004-06:00

Thursday, January 21, 2010
Destination: Chacchoben, Mexico (Pronounced- Check Cho Ben)

Note: This was a fun day, and by the end I was wiped out! Rather than writing up a the day as a whole, I quickly wrote some notes down so that I would remember everything later.

This day I woke up extremely excited. I was excited about two things: Number one, the ruins. Number two, shopping. I love the sound of a good deal.

We arrived at the port in Costa Maya, Mexico, and armed ourselves with, well money. The port was beautiful. We had planned on shopping in the morning and then off to the ruins in the afternoon.

My Spanish is a little rusty, I must admit, but there are certain things that a girl doesn't forget. Like how to shop, even in another language. My mom and I were armed with a list of things to buy and people to shop for, and we would not be stopped. We entered the shops and started to work the magic. We were quite the team. The price would be named, my mom would look at me, and I would shake my head yes or no. As a rule, I would shake my head no. (Never go with the first offer.) I would throw out a new offer. My mom and I would nod at each other in agreement, and look to the shop owner (? Owner? I don't know who it was really. "I the owner. If my boss were here you would not get such a good deal.") It was fierce.

I must admit that at one point I got a little carried away and I bought something I really did NOT need. (It was a blanket, but I got a deal, alright, and the colors really did not fade or bleed together after I washed them.)

We did all the damage we could possibly do, and carried the goods back to the ship.

Next up, the ruins. This was one of the most organized excursions I have ever been on. Granted, it was only the second one ever. But think of a school field trip. For adults. While the trip the day before was really great, it did not compare to this day. Our guides were Diana and Nestor. Diana was the first tour guide to ever go to the ruins at Chacchoben.

AMAZING.

If you get the opportunity to go, do it. It was amazing to see the ruins, to walk where they walked, to see the places where the lived. I enjoyed every moment of it...even watching the crazy monkeys throwing acorns at us! Many of the ruins at this site are the oldest ruins excavated.

We got back to the bus and were taken back to the ship. I must admit that I was so exhausted that I slept very comfortably all the way back.

The water this night was very rough.

This night we went to a Mexican restaurant on the ship. WONDERFUL food. My thought was that it was because we were all so hungry that it was good, but the reality is that it was some of the best Mexican food ever.

Um, did I mention the ocean was rough this night?

Oh it was rough alright After we ate our food (which once again was great. The salsa, fajitas....) I went back to take a "nap" in my room. I had planned on coming back to watch a movie with my dad. I laid in the dark room literally praying that the Bonine would keep working as the waves crashed causing the boat to rock back and forth. I attempted to get up several times. It didn't happen. (The Bonine did work, and I did NOT get sick.)

I fell asleep around 8 that night.

(Meanwhile my brother fell asleep listening to music and watching the ocean on the balcony.)

Tomorrow, a day at sea.

Red Sweatpants and an Arrest Warrant

2010-02-17T19:55:00.005-06:00

I was fairly certain that I had written about this in a previous post. I actually don't believe I did, but if you happen to find it, let me know!

I moved in to my apartment almost three years ago. It's a cozy place. There's a gate that requires a person to check in before being let in. It's safe and I feel good about living here. (Always a positive feeling to have about the place where you live!)

Right about Christmas time two years or so ago, I was at home, enjoying a quiet Sunday. I had gone to church Sunday morning, came home and slipped on a pair of red sweatpants. (I should mention that I left on my pink sweater that I had worn that morning. This right here people could actually be a reason for someone to issue an arrest warrant- but wait. There's more!)

I sat at home, lounging, doing the usual Sunday stuff, relaxing, taking it easy. Around eight that night I had a knock on my door. My friend was a neighbor at that point and she would on occasion walk over and pay me a visit. I didn't think anything of it. I stood up, pink and red ensemble, and walked over to open the door. Um... it wasn't my friend. It wasn't anyone unrecognizable at all. Instead it was three men. Big men. With a "warrant."
Being a Law & Order watcher, as well as CSI, and other police-y shows, what I am about to say may shock you. I did not ask to see their badges. They said that they were looking for a person (we'll call her Sally) and they handed me a paper with Sally's face. "Have you seen this woman?" Uh, no. "Are you sure? Is anyone else here with you?" Somewhere in the next few moments they managed to push themselves in to the living room of my apartment. (This is where I feel a little foolish. I let them come in. I should have had them stand outside, but I didn't.) In that one moment my main concern was NOT about them coming in to my apartment, but rather about my wardrobe. I quickly said as they were stepping in, "Um, sorry, I don't match." They chuckled, and asked me how long I'd lived where I was living, and some other random questions, and then they were gone. On their way out, one of the (bounty hunters?) said something to the effect of, "Better make sure you match next time." I was once again reminded of my embarrassment, but they left, and I carried on with my quiet mismatched evening.

Fast forward. It's approximately seven or eight months ago. I'm at home. Ironically watching a police show. About nine thirty, ten at night I have a knock at my door. Strange. I was expecting no visitors. I hadn't called anyone in, but maybe Cindy I thought. She could have decided to come over. I flip back the blinds, and there in front of me, two police officers this time. I know the drill. I open the door. "Hi ma'am, we're looking for Sally." Oh brother, Sally again. "This has happened before," I explained. "I've lived here over two years, no Sally. I sometimes get her mail, but I just send it back." This time I remembered to use my Law & Order training and asked to see their badges. They showed me their credentials, asked some additional questions, and were satisfied that I was not the hard looking, short haired, fifty some year old woman they were looking for.

Fast forward. Again. This morning. Six am. Um, I'm asleep at six am. I sleep through things like storms and lightning. I'm dreaming, as usual, but there's this large banging in my dreams. I tried to ignore it and go back to the real part of my, but I can't, because the banging keeps getting louder. I finally wake up and realize that was no dream. There is someone banging. At my door, at six in the morning. I ran down the stairs, too groggy to even realize what's going on , or think of who could possible be looking for me so early in the morning. Well, imagine my surprise when I flip open the door and I see that it's three police officers. "Oh geez," was my initial thought. I open my door. "Hi ma'am," the first one said, "We're looking for Sally." At this point I'd like to start looking for Sally. She keeps interrupting me. I sighed and leaned my head against my door. "This has happened before," they ask.
"Um, yeah."
"How long have you lived here?"
"Almost three years."
"And what's your name?"
I go through the drill. I tell them my name, how long I've lived here, etc. They were then on their way, and I was back to sleep. (Well for a little while until it was time to actually get back up for work.)

Nothin' like a run in with the law.
Any one know where I can find Sally???

Altun Ha (Day 5)

2010-02-15T20:30:00.001-06:00

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Destination: Altun Ha, Belize

Today I woke up feeling better than I even had the day before. From our trip to Honduras on yesterday, I am now sporting my not so attractive burn lines, and a customary red nose. (As soon as I’m in the sun one day, regardless of how much sun screen I use, my nose becomes red for weeks and weeks.) I also have a new freckle on the top of my hand.

For the last three days, every time I’d walk out onto the balcony, I was met with a warm, yet cool (oxymoron?) breeze.

Today, however, was different, even first thing this morning, as soon as I walked outside, I was wacked in the face by, well, heat and humidity. Did I say hot? It was hot. Hot AND humid both. (Those are two descriptive words I never imagined using to describe the weather in January, seven days prior to my birthday.) Here it was though, January 20^th, and the heat was nearly overwhelming, yet at the same time, exceptionally wonderful. (Heat in January? I live in Illinois. It is fantastic to be HOT in January.)

Despite the heat, I remained super excited because I was going to be visiting and seeing something I had ALWAYS wanted to see.

The Mayan Ruins.

There is something about archeology that has always fascinated me. The history behind it, the way people lived, imaging them moving and living. I was excited.

Each “excursion” group was to gather in a designated area on the ship. My family’s excursion gathered in the theater on the boat. We lined up together and exited the theater. We were herded down the hallways, and off the boat, similar to cattle being herded through a small place, and it was slow moving. On this day we were “tendered” to the dock. That almost sounds as though we were accosted with money, but no, not that type of “tender.” No one else will find that funny, but I do! (When the ports were not accessible to large ships, the ships have smaller boats, or tenders, pull up to the boat, load passengers, approximately 50 or so, and then pull up to the port.) We sat huddled on the boat, feeling rather warm and hoping that somehow the windows would open.

At the dock, we were once again herded as a group through hundreds of other people to get to our bus.

The bus was at least cool in temperature, although small and tight. Prior to heading to Altun Ha, we went on a bus tour of Belize City. The country of Belize is beautiful, but primitive. The roads are not in good condition. Not even in mediocre condition.

We were then on our way to Altun Ha! On our way to the ruins, the driver, Scotty, hit a pot hole, or more likely a ravine in the middle of the road. Everyone on the bus knew something was wrong, but Scotty charged ahead for another five minutes or so until we arrived at Altun Ha. The results of the run-in with the pot hole were NOT pretty. We ended up with not just a flat tire, but a tire with the front half of the rubber hanging off the wheel. (This picture does not adequately show the damage.) We continued with the tour as planned. There were ruins to see, however, so we charged ahead…to the bathrooms. Where we waited for a good 20 minutes for everyone, but then finally!

We walked through the ruins, looking, climbing, snapping photos, and trying to think cool thoughts. I could write about all the interesting facts about Altun Ha, but why rewrite what's already been written? If you would like to read more, click here.

On coming back to the bus, the tire was NOT fixed. We waited for help. I’m familiar with what happens when a tire goes flat, or rather becomes shredded. I’m familiar with tow trucks, and road size service. That being said, I’m not familiar with the road size service in offered in Belize. It came in the form of four men, a pick up truck, a sledge hammer, cinder blocks, oh and a huge tire. I sat on the bus and tried to take pictures through the foggy glass. Later I thought maybe I should have looked at the little shops, but I decided to take advantage of the air conditioning, and watch the excitement of the tire changing.

About an hour after they arrived we were on our way back to “town.”

I managed to sleep until we arrived back in Belize City. My mom and I were determined to find a place to have our passports stamped. (I neglected to mention that on Tuesday, on our way back to the ship, we passed right by a booth that stamped passports. We had been looking for the place that did give out the stamps, but we didn't realize it was right there!) Having our passports stamped from Honduras, we needed to have a Belize stamp as well. We walked all over, asked guards, asked different guards, were sent back to where we started from, asked again…Finally we found it.

My dad and brother were in line for the tender while my mom and I were wandering through the crowds looking for the passport “stampers." My dad gave my mom and I strict instructions as we parted ways. “Whatever you do, you better get back to the boat.”

Although the thought of living in a warm country sounded tempting, my mom and I made sure we made it back.
Next up, Costa Maya

Roatan, Honduras (Day 4, more pictures this time)

2010-02-06T17:19:00.019-06:00

Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Destination: Roatan, Honduras

Today I woke up filling great. Bonine is amazing!
We ate breakfast, and then ran to my parents’ room and their balcony to watch “the land.” (My brother loved being on the balcony. And he loved watching the land, coming and going.)

Music was filling the air as we pulled up to the dock. Dancers and musicians were along the pier, welcoming the Norweigian Jewel to dock. It was an amazing site, seeing them dance, and then watching the Honduran people lined up at the dock dancing along. There is obviously music in their soul.

This day we would be meeting with a family that my family met at our church in Indiana. Isabella, Carlos, and their kids. My brother had been very close to them, and the surprise for my brother was that we would be seeing them. Somehow the surprise was leaked, and John found out that we would be seeing them. Regardless, he was excited.

Isabella picked us up at the dock (she recognized John’s red hair). We visited a shopping “plaza” where Carlos met up with us for a few minutes. He hugged John, “I love you brother, I miss you.”

Then we drove around the island. While Roatan is a part of Honduras, it is not connected to the mainland, but a completely separate island. At the highest part of the island, you could see the ocean from both sides.

We also went to Yubu, a Garifuna Experience. Here we learned about the Garifuna people. Wanna dance? Get up and join them! (Or, as in this case, my mom was volunteered by Isabella!)

We also saw how they make Cassava Bread.

Then we were off to their beautiful house. I cannot use words to explain how amazing it is, so here is the picture to show:

We walked out on their dock and laid in the hammock, put our feet in the water, and enjoyed the ocean air. It was beautiful. I also happened to drink coconut milk right from a coconut. Isabella asked a neighbor to cut one down from the COCONUT TREE GROWING IN THEIR YARD.

Of course, we needed to eat lunch. Where to? Bahama Mama, of course! I had a hamburger, french fries, onion rings, nachos…Healthy right? And not really an authentic Honduran meal, but tasty nonetheless.

We then headed back to their house. Did I mention that their house was right on the ocean? Oh, yes. Carlos picked us up by boat in front of Bahama Mama and we were driven by boat back to their pier.

Did I mention that Bonine is amazing?

We then piled in to the bus that Carlos drives and headed to see their church. Having grown up in church, I’ve seen many churches, from small to smaller, large to larger. This church, was barely larger than a room. I was rather warm, and tired, so I sat on the bus while everyone else piled out and ran inside to see the church.

After a few minutes they came back out, red faces, talking excitedly, and we headed over to a piece of land that the church owns.

We walked around looking at all the work that needs to be done in order for a new building. All of the labor is being done by hand. A stream runs through the property. In order for the church building to be built, the stream has to be rerouted. There is nothing like digging in the heat. While the people of the church are excited about the property, and the prospect of a new building, bigger and larger to accommodate growth, it’s hard to see the vision. It also requires money to build, and do manual labor. While we stood on the property the pastor spoke of how this would be the only church in that “neighborhood.” He has a vision of their church, not just the building, but the people becoming a light to Roatan. We stood in a circle, and held hands, my family, Carlos and his family, the pastor, and a few of the dedicated church members and prayed. The pastor looked at my mom and dad and said, “I know that God brought you here on purpose, it was no accident.” And it wasn’t.

We arrived back at the boat, and went through the process of being sprayed down by hand sanitation.

I was reminded today again, of how God is the God of America, and Honduras, and all over the world. Everyone needs to hear. As you read this, please pray for this church in Honduras. Let’s pray that people in the church catch the vision, and that other people, other believers will catch this vision with them.

Mark 16:15

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.

Tomorrow we are headed to Belize and to see the Mayan ruins!

Pirates?

Oh, and go Colts!

Feelin' Green? (Day 3)

2010-02-04T22:18:00.003-06:00

Monday, January 18, 2010
Current position: Mid Atlantic
Destination: Roatan, Honduras

This morning I woke up after a restless sleep, still feeling a little on the loopy side. I decided it was time for some motion sickness medicine, found in the form of a little chewable tablet. Bonine. Bonine and I have become friends. In fact I plan on taking Bonine with me wherever I go.

It’s now later in the evening. I’m sitting on the deck of my parents cabin listening to the water, feeling the breeze, and finally feeling good.

We ate in one of the ships “restaurants” tonight. Menu dining rather than the buffet style dining. It’s a different experience ordering appetizers, main courses, desert(s), all without having to pay. Of course, it’s not as though we HAVEN’T paid.

Today was relaxing. Listening to the waves. Watching for the lights in the distance. My brother and mother watching for sharks.

After eating lunch, and playing games, doing some reading, and napping and eating, I realized this whole cruise thing might not be so bad. You have your hotel room WITH you while you go visit these other places, in other countries. Hungry? Dial a line, or go visit one of the shops or restaurants available to the ravenous, or those who just feel like eating.

Tomorrow we will be in Roatan, Honduras, where a surprise is awaiting my brother.

My Bub:

Miscellaneous Items:

Tonight I went to a Zumba class. For those of you who have experienced Zumba, isn't it great fun? For those of you who haven't, you are missing out. Not being the most coordinated person (no additional comments needed) I wasn't sure how I'd do. Then I realized, if you aren't sure what to do, just wave your arms and dance around. No one will notice.
Apparently the ground hog saw his shadow. That means 6 more weeks of winter. I'd like to go on record to say, wouldn't it be great if there were ONLY six more weeks of winter. I figure that'd bring us mid-March. That sounds much better than the additional three months of winter. If six more weeks is all we've got, and then spring?- eh, I'll take it.
My birthday was nine days ago. I'm not sure, I'm never sure, what God has in mind, but I have a feeling as always that He has better things in mind for me than I can imagine. I can't wait to see! This year oughta be great! Jeremiah 29:11

Out with the Tide (Day 2)

2010-02-01T20:33:00.004-06:00

Sunday January 17, 2010
Starting Point: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Destination: Miami, FL, Atlantic Ocean

Sunday started off and continued much smoother than Saturday. We had to be in the lobby of the hotel at 10 am and wait for our shuttle. We were in the lobby waiting until 12:30 when the shuttle arrived. We were driven thirty minutes (or so) to Miami, to the boat dock. By boats, I mean SHIPS. Carnival, Norwegian, Royal Caribbean, you name it, they were there, standing proudly (floating?), waiting for passengers to come on board.

We moved through the lines with ease and made our way onto the boat, hand sanitizer waiting around every corner. “Don’t shake anyone’s hands,” we were instructed. And by every corner, I mean every corner! When you got on, got off, walking into the dining room, out of the dining room... EVERY WHERE. (There's nothing like large spaces that continually smell like hand sanitation.)

Sunday continued without a lot of fanfare. We had our safety drill. We learned the proper way to put on a life jacket, and where the emergency whistle is located on the life jacket. Some people decided to try out the whistle, but the following statement made by one of the workers put an end to that: “Some of you I see are trying out the whistle. I’ve worked at sea for six years. I have never seen them wash the whistles.”

We found our rooms. Took naps, ate. Wandered the decks. And, then, I began to experience a little motion sickness.

I’ve never done well traveling, and it was all catching up to me. The car ride to the airport. The plane ride. The ride in the van, the next van, the next van… My hope that I would be fine on the ship was quickly being squashed. While I’ve always loved being on boats, this boat was different from anything else I had ever been on. A cruise ship I suppose is hardly a “boat.” Not the same experience as rowing across beautiful Lake Placid (AKA Lake Acid, those of you who have been there know what I'm saying), or skimming the waters in a speed boat in a lake in California. It’s not the same as a canoe. Not even like the party barge, as we so named the raft my friends and I would float on in Lake Michigan. I laid in my bed last night feeling the movement of the ship, as it rocked and swayed with the ocean. “Think of the party barge. Think of the party barge.” It didn’t help. Eventually though, with the help of the pitch blackness of the cabin, I fell asleep.

Next up Honduras.

Outside our hotel

Leaving Miami

My dad and brotherInside the cabin

The pool area

A few additional notes:

Tonight I went to the gym. The Elliptical machine almost killed me. Literally, it wacked me in the arm, and I quite possibly may have a hemorrhage on the back of my arm. Don't ask how the machine hit me in the back of the arm. I can't really answer.
As a side note, is it wrong to want to exercise just so I can eat peanut m&ms, and any other thing I really want to eat
I realized that as I was walking to the laundry machine, more literally wheezing as I dragged my laundry basket behind me, I left a trail of shirts.
I am going to eat some cheese.

Gone Cruisin' (Day 1)

2010-01-31T21:13:00.007-06:00

While I was on my trip I decided to make some notes and write about my cruise so that when I was back, I could post about it. This will be spread out over several posting, otherwise this would be extremely long posting.
Without further ado, Cruise vacation, Day 1.
***********************

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Starting point: Fox Lake, IL

Destination: Fort Lauderdale, FL

Saturday I awoke like anyone would do when they are going on vacation- full of anticipation and excitement. I checked my “list” of all of the things I needed to remember to pack or do before I left. My list included miscellaneous items that had nothing to do with my vacation whatsoever (like rearranging my kitchen cabinets). I decided to pass on that and sat back on my couch to wait.

Making it TO the airport was no problem. The trip was fast, easy. Even once AT the airport everything with smoothly. Then, my family and I saunter up to our gate, with several hours to spare, to collect our boarding passes, and wait. Problem. I had no boarding pass. I had been waitlisted. “Oh, sorry Stephanie. You are on our list. You don’t have a seat on the plane. We overbooked. So, you’ll have to wait and see if something opens up.” Just what every traveler with a destination in mind, and a definite departure time loves to hear. I decided to remain calm. I sat down, read my book, played a game, did a puzzle or two. My dad commenced his pacing at that moment. My brother started to panic. I just looked at John and said, “It’s okay bud, I’m going.” He sighed, “Oh, okay.” He was fine then, and went back to playing his game and waiting. I didn't feel QUITE as confident that I'd be on the plane, but I knew I would make it to the boat.

We were to be boarded and taxi-ing the run way at 4:15. That did not happen. The plane did not arrive until after 3:30. The attendants working the gate continued to ask for volunteers to give up their seat. Any passengers doing so would, of course, be reimbursed, receive a travel voucher and a hotel stay. There was always that option. As long as they got me to the boat on time, I had decided it might not be such a bad thing. I’d be flown to Nashville, and then to Fort Lauderdale, and then whisked to the ship. I continued to wait. It was around 3:45 when my name was called. I had a boarding pass. My family all breathed a collective sigh. I was on the plane.

We were in the air. The flight attendants reviewed their standard warning instructions, and how to operate oxygen masks and life jackets. “Fasten the oxygen mask around your face. The bag may not inflate, but you will.” Yes, he said that. The ride was rather bumpy. I slept, and dreamed of warm weather.

At the airport we collected our luggage rather quickly. Except for my dad. He stood watching the luggage go around and around, until the belt stopped. He had no suitcase. I decided, just to be safe, to check all the bags remaining on the belt. I walked up to the first one, read the name and pulled it off. “That’s not my bag,” my dad yelled across to me.

“Well,” I said, “it’s got your name on it.”

“No it doesn’t...Does it?”

“Yup.”

He had been watching the same bag go around three or four times and each time never realized it was his.

We then had to get to the hotel. My mom had called for the shuttle to come and pick us up. She was told where to go wait. We hiked to the area and waited. We weren’t there long when someone from Holiday Inn pulled up with a rather large van and a trailer attached to the back. My dad walked up to him and asked him, “Holiday Inn Express, hotel airport?” The driver said, “No,” then, “Yes,” almost immediately, and grabbed my dad’s suitcase and tossed it in the trailer. His hesitation should have been a sign. We arrived at a lovely Holiday Inn. My dad stood in line waiting to check in to the hotel. A moment later he walked away from the desk. “This isn’t our hotel.” It wasn’t.

We waited for around thirty minutes for another van driver to come back and pick us up. We were then driven to the CORRECT hotel. In the completely opposite direction from the first hotel. (While we were waiting, I was dancing and skipping through the parking lot at the hotel. It was warm, there were palm trees, and I needed to stay awake until I got to the hotel!)

We were checked in rather quickly. We hauled our belongings up to the room on a cart. My dad tried the key. It didn’t work. He tried the other key. That one didn’t work either. I ran them downstairs and had them reprogrammed, and finally we were in.

The view outside my apartment the morning I left.

Me waiting.

My luggage waiting!

The boarding pass!

This is my rather creepy smile. This was taken midst me jumping around in the (wrong) hotel parking lot. I was excited, and the zoom was WAY to close. But, this is what I got! Did I mention I was excited!

Next up, Day 2.

And....I'm back (Kinda)

2010-01-31T20:10:00.006-06:00

I arrived home last Monday, after having ridden in a taxi to my apartment from Midway, and then after hauling my luggage down all the stairs to my apartment, I realized my vacation from reality was over. I was smacked in the forehead with a wet cold wind (literally), snow flying around (also literally), my refrigerator empty, and the laundry pile twice the size as when I left (because as we all know even though we go on vacation, dirty clothes still happen).

I realized stepping into my apartment, which although in the Midwestish are of the US, it was home, and there is always something about coming home. At the same time, I felt this feeling of crashing and burning. The vacation (posts to come) was nice. And relaxing. And sadly over. With no new big events to look forward to, life looked as bleak as the dreary outside.

But, that's life isn't it? While there are big events, moments that we plan, and mark in pen in our day planner (okay, so I like writing all sorts of things like taking out the trash in my planner, I'm talking about other moments), life is generally made up of all sorts of other moments. Smaller moments. Quieter moments. The every day moments, that when you add them up and take a picture, and sit down on your couch and reflect, well those moments make life good. They make life, life.

Today is Sunday.
Tomorrow I'm looking at going to work, and it's going to be a long day. No vacations ahead in the near future. I didn't do my laundry. (It's cold outside and I don't want to go down the stairs.) I need to vacuum and dust.
Despite all that. Life is good. I am happy.

Now, maybe I should finally go unpack.

Psalm 81:16
But you would be fed with the finest of wheat;
with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

"There is some element of risk to living your dreams."

At the Airport...Again

2010-01-25T06:33:00.003-06:00

This time, however, I was actually given a boarding pass. (More about that later)
I am sitting in the Fort Lauderdale Airport, about to leave the balmy weather behind.

Today we are heading home. I say we, meaning myself along with my family. We had to wake up early, and by early I mean 4:30 my time. I am not sure that 4:30 was ever created with the intent of anyone actually being awake at 4:30. For those of you who know me, and for those who don't, know that I am not a morning sunshine person. The people I work with have learned that as I walk in to the office, and they yell "Good morning, Stephanie," I'm more likely to grunt my response. Sometimes I will say "Morning." It's just the "GOOD" part. Catch me in the afternoon, or at least after 10:30 when I can start pretending to be awake.

Despite my lack of pleasure with waking up in the morning, I do like going home. How is it that it is always good to go, and always good to come back?

Tonight I will be sleeping in my bed. I will be in my apartment, which will seem like a mansion after the small cabin I've been sleeping in all week long. Once I get home I have a list of things to accomplish: laundry, cleaning, dusting, grocery shopping, studying (Back to school work!).

All for now. Next stop- Nashville

Tell me.... (Blog posting take 2)

2010-01-24T20:37:00.006-06:00

I happened to be blog browsing in the hotel last night (as I was waiting to go to sleep before my final journey home tomorrow. I found a "copy this into your own blog and put the answers in" and I thought it might be fun.
Read, then post a comment, or post this one your blog! (with your answers of course)

Yourself: Waiting for plane ride
Your hair: Getting longer, below shoulders
Your mother: Gave me her strange sense of humor, love ya Ma
Your father: Gave me his eyes (or my eyes are like his eyes) Apparently I also have my Aunt Doris' nose (Love you too Father. Love Your Daughter- said with an accent)
Your favorite item: Bible and my laptop- it has ALL my pictures! But if friends and family can be thought of as items, I'm partial to them as well
Your dream last night: I dream every night, last night, I don't quite remember
Your favorite drink: Dr. Pepper
Your dream car: An ugly green Land Rover that I will never own, but think about owning
Your dream home: The one I will someday buy
The room you are in: hotel, Holiday Inn Express
Your fear: High places, or rather falling from those high places
Where you want to be in ten years: More like what I want to BE- Happy living every day, and teaching, and with a house
Who you hung out with last night: My family
What you're not: patient
Muffins: Blueberry
One of your wish list items: Not sure, I try to be content, and at the moment that's how I'm feeling. Although, if I could really have anything on my wish list, I'd wish that there were really such things as transporters, like they have on Star Trek, where you could be beamed from one location to another.
Time: Always could use more
The last thing you did: Read blogs
What you are wearing: PJs
Your favorite weather: Fall time weather
Your favorite book: Mmm....too many of those to count
Last thing you ate: Popcorn
Your life: Good, every day
Your mood: Relxaxed
Your best friends: Are my best friends for a reason
What are you thinking about right now: What is on my wishlist
Your car: is a Toyota Rav4
What are you doing at the moment: typing
Your summer: Won't be here for like, 6 months
What is on your tv: Some weird rented movie I never heard of before
What is the weather like: At this moment in Florida, BEAUTIFUL
When is the last time you laughed: Some point today

Another Day

2010-01-24T11:42:00.003-06:00

I have been on a blogging sabbatical. Life it seems has taken over, and I have fallen to the side.

I have always written. Stories upon stories. Some of them absolutely ridiculous. Stories about dreams and Frisbees and mysteries. I have always been a writer. In a former life (namely high school, and in a writing course I took) I would keep a pen and paper with me at all times in case I had a thought that was worth being documented. There would be moments that I would wake up in the middle of the night, and would quickly write it down...ideas for stories. Thoughts. You name it and I would quickly make a note in my trusty writing pad.
Writing has always been a balm to my soul, but when life takes over, I forget. I forget how words on paper sort everything out. I have needed life to take a vacation, but it hasn't. And the trouble is, while I might pack to go away (which in fact I just did) life always seems to follow close behind, or more likely the true-er story, it spins in circles around me. Coming back from vacation, life is waiting and all the words I had planned to type, well, they are gone.

This is also an ONLINE venue- meaning it's not just a private world all on my own. Not that many people read this, but regardless, I am pretty sure that me dumping my life on an online journal is not what I am looking to do either. Then someone says to me, "you've not been writing." But, I have had no words. Then I realize, maybe it's not so much what I write but that I do.

So I will.

But for now, I am sitting in a hotel room in Florida. The air conditioning is on and Andy Roddick is playing tennis in the background. My mom is playing a game and my brother is sitting quietly. In a bit, I am going to take a nap, and repack my clothes for my final trip home tomorrow. (Look for pictures and notes about my CRUISE! Soon to come!)
Life is good.
God is good.

A Road Map

2009-12-10T21:24:00.004-06:00

I realized tonight that I have been MIA for quite a while. Yet, here I am again. I am sitting in the semi-dark. My Christmas tree is lit, and the small lights over my counter are on. It's cold outside, but warm in. I have done many things tonight, basically involving everything but the things that I really need to do. But, tomorrow is Friday, and the weekend is coming, opening its arms welcoming me in, and I am ready.

*******************
I have a couple of friends that I have acquired in Illinois who have taught me about "The Drive." Let me quickly explain.
You get in your car. You may or may not call your friends and say you have five minutes to be ready and jump in the car. Then you drive.

The Drive comes with rules:
1. Don't ask questions. For example, "Where are we going?"Not allowed. Neither is, "When are we going back?" or "what are we doing next?" Depending on who you are with, "I'm hot/cold, it's too windy" is also questionable.
2. Bring music, just in case you and your driving buddies need to sing.
3. Just gotta roll. Bring a jacket. Or a sweater. The person who is driving is in charge. If the driver decides to roll down the window, and blare the heat, go with it.
4. Sit back and relax. Whether you are driving or riding, you should enjoy the ride. Enjoy the scenery. Talk. Laugh. Cry.
5. When you end up back where you started from you should feel better, lighter, calmer, and even happier than when you first headed out.

I am terrible at "The drive." I make an excellent passenger, but when it comes to being the driver I am awful. I have a need to know where to go next, where to turn, when's the stop light, what's the speed limit.... I could go on of course. I slide in, sit behind the wheel, and grip it tightly, afraid to just go. I need a map. My other friends who are experts at the drive do not need a map. They just drive. We have been lost quite often, but we always return whole and safe and well.

Life is not always as easy as the drive. I can look outside, and plan into tomorrow. I can decide when I'm going on vacation, and where, but the bends in the road, the storms, the hills, well I just quite frankly cannot see them. I want a map. I sit behind the wheel, and I grip tightly, anxious to know where I'm going, what will happen next. There is no map for life, though. Sometimes I believe that God is waiting for me to slide over to the passenger seat, lean back, and enjoy The Drive.

Overall, I think it's been a pretty good one.

Proverbs 3:5-7
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.

The Re-potting of Blanche

2009-10-22T17:07:00.002-05:00

Not being a "green-thumb" type, I'm not sure if "re-potting" is actually a word, but I'm using it anyways. I have fallen in love (I believe it is possible) with my beautiful Ficus, which was given to me over a year ago. Blanche has graced my desk at work with her presence since she arrived in my life, and she has grown. New leaves have sprung up and she stretches taller than she did a year ago.

A week ago I realized my beautiful plant was out growing her pot. Her roots, not able to push down, were pushing upward, out of the dirt. She has had no where to grow. Today, I ran errands, enjoying a middle of the week day off, and I went and found a new pot for my plant. Armed with dirt, I attempted to do what I had never done before and move Blanche from one pot to a new pot, thus the "re-pot" comes in to play.

As I carefully removed Blanche from her old home, to move to her new, I found exactly what I had expected to find. Her roots were all bunched up tight, unable to move, unable to grown. Following the directions, I planted her safely in her new home, where I expect she'll have more room to grow.

It struck me as I was moving her, that she has been trapped in a tight area, not able to grow. She has had no choice. At the same time, I realized I trap myself. I wrap myself up tight, and while maybe safe, I have no where to grow. I don't allow God to move in me. Moving to a new place is scary. I've done it. It's unnerving, going where you don't know, moving to a place with which you are unfamiliar. I don't only mean moving physically. There's more than that. There is the surrender, saying to God, I have no idea what you want with me, but I'm open. I don't know who you want me to be, or where you want me to go, or do, but I'm open.

It feels safer doing the same routine day in and day out. Reading the same verses, seeing the same friends, doing what is familiar, but then there is the beauty of risk, the beautiful potential that surrounds every day when I walk out my door. I can continue to do what I have always done, and continue to get what I've always got, or I can become something bigger. Grow somewhere newer.

Today, that is my prayer. That I will be open to God moving in my life. Open to Him challenging me to be a light.

Time to stretch my roots.

Not Me Mondays

2009-10-05T22:41:00.005-05:00

I am not practicing procrastination at it's finest.
Nope, not me!

I do not have laundry that I need to do. I do not dread hauling it down to the laundry room.
I do not need to dust.
I do not need to unpack from my weekend trip.
Not me!

I do not have two, count them TWO assignments left to finish for school.
I am not setting a bad example for America's children.
They are not the very same TWO assignments I had left to finish a week ago.
I am not writing on my blog avoiding the assignments.
Uh, uh, Not me!

I am not sitting in the dark, on my bed singing.
I am not listening to the same song over and over, warming up my vocal cords. That would make no sense.
Nope, NOT ME!

Check out my friend Jenilee's blog for more Not Me Mondays!

October- The Month of Heath and Wellness

2009-09-30T22:25:00.003-05:00

While you may not find any record of October being the month of Health, my coworker and I have decided that is what it is going to be for us!
What does that mean?

Going to bed in a timely manner. (Me going to bed at 12:30 every night- not a good idea.)
Less caffeine. This one will be challenging. See number one. I have been surviving on number two.
Lots and lots of water.
Exercising.
A little chocolate every day. Before you contradict me, saying that this one will only cause a detour on my route to health and wellness, this one is essential. Essential for all those who see me every day. A little chocolate goes a long way in keeping my sanity.

I'll be finishing up with my term for school in around a week. This last term has been full of no tests, but approximately twenty short papers... And only two to go! I am look forward to the short break that I will have until November 1st. Then it's back to work!

During my break I have a few things planned, right along with rest, relaxation, and cleaning. Along with that there will be cookies for work, piano for me, and Christmas presents to finish and buy. I am determined to start and finish my shopping early this year!

A final note:

A ship captain was on his ship when a storm rolled in. His family was with him, and as the waves rolled in and the boat rocked, his wife came to him, crying in terror.
"Why are you not afraid of the storm?!" she exclaimed.
The captain drew his sword and held it close to his wife's chest. He asked her, "Are you not afraid?"
"No."
"Why?" he asked.
"Well, I know the one who holds the sword."
He responded, "I know the one who holds the storm."
Adapted from a commentary

It is easy so many times to look at the waves, at the storm, and forget the one who holds the storm in his hands. I am guilty at looking at a situation and giving up. Laying in bed, covers over my head, shivering in terror. The reality is, as long as I look at the one who is holding the storm, and not the storm itself, I will make it through.

Psalm 4:8
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

There are times when things are scary. There are wars, and storms. There is sickness, and even death. These are things that make me anxious. At times I feel as though there is nothing that can keep me safe. God, and only God provides the peace inside my heart. That peace allows me to trust that despite the waves, despite the holes in my boat, despite my circumstances, I will come through the other side.
God can do the same for you.

Make tomorrow beautiful. Love to you all,

I have become an "Air Quoter"...

2009-08-25T20:04:00.003-05:00

...Save me from myself.

On to other news.

1) I feel like I've spent the last four months playing catch up. Between my mini weekend trips to Iowa, Indiana, and Missouri, my vacation to Nebraska, work and school, I feel like I've been a constant step behind the whole summer. It has been a fun summer, but it's been fast! When I take the time to actually sit and breathe deep and look back I realize I have enjoyed myself. Now, I'm catching up, cleaning, laundry and cleaning some more, and even though I personally do not follow the September to May schedule, whenever "school starts" I feel like life starts slowly moving back in order.

2) My cousin took some awesome pictures on his trip to Europe last summer, and he gave me a few for my place. I just found great frames and now have them strategically around my living room. When I look at them I am so amazed and impressed with my cousin! You are amazing Jake!

3) My planner. Ask me and I know what I'm doing in a week. I know what is happening on September 3rd (nothing). I know what day Christmas is, and I have a vacation planned in January of 2010. I carry my schedule planner with me every where I go, and yet, I write nothing down. Today I have determined that if I am going to carry it with me, I'm going to fill it out. It might make more sense for me to just stop carrying it around, but it never fails that I need it when I don't have it. I'm gonna keep it in my bag. Tonight I will write in it.

4) I have had a goal for the last few years to read 12 books a year. It has been challenging when I am trying to read school books at the same time. I am falling super short in my goal this year. But, I have a stack of new, sweet smell like books books, and four months to finish reading to my goal.

5) A year ago I was an avid blogger. Granted for a part of that time I was in Charlotte with limited responsibilities. Now again, life, as I mentioned before, is in full swing. I have made it another goal to write at least once a week. Here's a post to toast to that goal.

6) My dear friend Jenilee wrote about how she has been busy working in her busy home, taking care of three girls (and a husband who collects bugs). Despite how busy she has been there is a truth that she clings to, and I am reminded of that today. It can be so easy to lose track and get lost in the middle of insanity and chaos. It can be easy to look at the storm, at the winds, at the waves. That's easy. What is harder is to look to the one who created the storms, the winds, the waves. It's harder to trust. It's harder to let go. It's harder...at first. But then, there's peace. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Take the first step. Look to God for the peace you have been missing.

My summer in a photograph

2009-08-18T22:55:00.002-05:00

Going in all different directions, a little craziness, somewhat strange, and fun all at the same time!

And just how do you think this is gonna work???

2009-08-11T19:32:00.004-05:00

I just bought a new mattress. Monday night it was delivered. I would like to say, I TOTALLY love it!

So, the big question has been, how do you get a mattress up into your room, using those stairs?!
The answer- you don't!

Yup, they sent it up, OVER the balcony! They were pretty quick too! I'm just glad I wasn't responsible for shooting the mattress up. Otherwise, I'd be sleeping on the patio outside my apartment!

How do you pause this thing?

2009-08-10T20:20:00.003-05:00

If only life had a pause button. Wouldn't it be wonderful to pause moments in our life, and just have the ability to sit and enjoy? I'd have paused the night it snowed, as the world became a snow globe around me; I'd pause the night my family and I were huddled together in my parent's living room, watching movies and eating popcorn until late at night; I would pause the time I jumped from the cliff and remain motionless above the water, for seconds longer; I would pause the times I laugh with my friends, and laugh and laugh; I'd pause...and pause...and pause....STOP.

Why is it that sadness causes all of to reevaluate our lives and our actions? Why is it that it takes some act of sorrow to cause us to make a change? Why can we not wake up every morning, determining to live as though this day, this one day, is all we have? Why don't we decide in the morning, this is what I must do, this is who I must love, this is where I must go. Why do we instead, lay in bed and say, oops maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll do that; maybe tomorrow I will love; maybe tomorrow I'll go there. What happened to today? It is given to us just once, and we either choose to embrace it, or let it lie, wishing it away, waiting for tomorrow because, well, because... tomorrow will be better?

We could at the same time try to pause our, try to stop time. That doesn't work either. We are left instead with the choice to take every moment and breathe every breath as though it's the last. No looking back. No crying for yesterday. No wasting today, wishing for tomorrow.

So tonight, I plan on going to sleep on my brand new bed, and enjoy it. It's the first new night, and the last first night. Tonight, I'll do my homework and exercise. Talk to my friends. Talk to my family. Tell them I love them. Get ready for tomorrow. And probably sing while doing the dishes. But I won't waste time crying for yesterday. And I won't miss out on the moments I have today waiting for tomorrow. No time for pausing.

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
~Chinese Proverb

Wednesdays Walk- On a Thursday

2009-08-06T21:38:00.002-05:00

A Walk on a Wednesday-Er make that Thursday

This summer has been wonderful as a whole, busy but great. I have found myself taking trips all over the mid west and I have learned multiple things about myself:

I love my friends. The last few months I have met up with so many of my friends from school (elementary- middle- high) and college. Friends make us who we are. After seeing these friends that I grew up with, I have found that they are responsible for helping me to be who I am..... all good of course, all good.
I love fields of country. I love the hills of corn and they way that they sound when the wind blows through them. I love how in the evening, on a warm day, the fireflies light up and swim in the air above the field. These days, city may be in my heart, but country will always be in my soul.
I love being home. When I first moved out on my own, I thought I'd go stir crazy. I could not imagine spending time with myself, and enjoying it, butI do. Whether it be after a long trip or a short day, I love coming home.

On my recent journeys I found myself taking many pictures. Here's some of my faves:

Indiana--- Guess where this is!?!
On the road to Missouri

Nebraska:

Iowa: Illinois:
On to other news, homework. I find it funny to say that I have homework. Seeing as I'm going to school online, there's really no other way to say it.

I must admit, it is a challenge to be going to school and working. Some days I feel as though I cannot put any more information in my head. I do, however, enjoy it. I love learning, and I am excited about where I am headed!

Lastly, I have been rather on the crafty side. Fortunately, I feel like I have good reason seeing as I am studying to be an elementary school teacher, I'll have plenty of reasons to use my weird creativeness! Here are some of my projects:

My two little friends Hayley and Megan came over one day and we made bags and bracelets.
Note how large this bag looks on the shoulder of the beautiful girl in the picture? Marketing ploy. It was NOT that big! We were shocked, but it was still fun designing a bag!

My Mosaic Garden stone:
I have plans to make a mosaic table. I wanted to practice and see how difficult it was. I must say, it wasn't difficult at all!

On a final note, when I would talk to the kids in children's church, we would talk about the blessings, or the good things that God has given us. Sometimes it is so easy to forget all of the great things that God has given me. (If you had seen me last week you would know what I'm saying) But I know that I have a place to live, and food to eat. I have clothes, water, friends and family. I should remember to be thankful every day rather than dwell on the "woes" and the difficulties that life can throw.

What do you have to be thankful for today?

Psalm 34:8
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

To the Moon...

2009-07-28T23:00:00.005-05:00

In my mind there have always been these "careers" that sounded something more like dreams than reality. For example, being an astronaut. At one point, the thought of floating around in space in a small area terrified me. Then I saw Space Camp (keep in mind I was probably only seven) and I changed my mind. From then on, even to this day, I can understand the desire and the draw that people have to go "where no man has gone before." I can look up in the sky, then close my eyes and literally feel the need to travel up to the moon, to explore and to understand what is beyond.

On to California where I met this group of people who had a fascination with standing on the top of tall cliffs-right on the edge. I was amazed because I was terrified by the thought of climbing a cliff let alone dancing on the edge where the wind could blow me off with one swift gust. I thought I understood the draw or the desire to climb and to be high enough to see the world, but then I read, Into Thin Air, and I knew that there was something else beyond what I myself knew or understood. The small measly 120 foot cliff I repealed down is nothing compared to what others have done, and need to do. (You dare devils- you know who you are... you amaze me and I am mesmerized by what you are able to do)

Here I am now, sitting in my apartment writing papers, reading books and studying (okay at the moment I'm taking a little break) for what I have a need to do. I know that compared to going to the moon, climbing a mountain, teaching is not a glorious, amazing, throw a parade type of profession, but for me, there has always been a desire, an overwhelming need to teach. I believe that this is an honor, and a need that God placed deep inside my heart so long ago. Despite the late nights, the books, the reading, the papers, when I look down to the end of the road, I can see exactly where I'm going.

For me, I have found, I might as well be going to the moon...

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

A Box of Bandaids and An Ear

2009-06-13T23:15:00.004-05:00

The wounds we encounter as a child, well, those of you with children, around children, or who were once children know, usually they are wounds we create by our own doing. For example, at about seven years old I decided (and I don't know why) that it would be the best idea to tie my shoe at the top of the stairs. Not only did I decide to tie my shoes at the top of the stairs, I decided that I would do so by lying down and sticking my feet in the air. At that same time my brother decided to go down the stairs. (In hindsight, I might have decided to tie my shoes there on purpose, possibly to prevent him from going down there- but who knows, it was a long time ago.)
As I laid on the floor my brother moved his little four year old legs over my head, and he tripped...and fell down the stairs. We both ran crying to my mom. My brother was wounded from having fallen down an entire flight of stairs, and my ear was bright red. My brother, as I told my mother, "tripped over my ear." Yes, he had tripped over my ear. It was red wasn't it?
Another time, in kindergarten, some boy and his "posse" ran after me and he kicked me in the head. I came home with a black eye. My mom and my aunts wisely told me that it was because he liked me. How fascinating. If only some boy would run after me and kick me in the head now....(kidding, kidding).
Ah, the joys of childhood drama...
There are other wounds that we encountered. Not physical, but inside. Kids are brutal. There are nicknames given, and not always fun loving names. (I also know this by experience.) At that point we learn the classic phrase, "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." If only that were true.
We carry hurts with us even as grown ups. I still, on occasion trip (but that's rare- you could call me Grace).... my ribs are still sore today. I also burned my forehead with a curling iron and one time almost got stuck on my stair case....okay maybe I'm not named Grace on purpose.
I know, you know, we all know, a broken bone sometimes heals over time much quicker than the hurt caused by a harshly spoken word. Slap on a Bugs Bunny or a Pretty Pretty Princess bandaid and the world is all better. They don't make bandaids for hearts though. As of late, I have been reminded of this very fact . The fact that words can and do cause hurt and pain.
What I don't know is how it happens, how a word can cause someone to feel so fragile.
I have begun to look again at my own self, my own mouth and determine what things have been coming out. I have found that it is true that what is in my heart, will come out of my mouth, and I don't want to be the cause of someone else's pain. But, on my own, I am no good. Left to my own devices, not only can I not walk a straight line, I cannot speak kindly to everyone. It is impossible, on my own. I have found that I must rely on God to help me. Not only do I need His help to guard my own heart from the hurts caused by others, but I need his strength to prevent me causing hurt.

Jeff Deyo, in his song, "Keep My Heart," says:

I don't know if I told you
How I long for your heart
I've just got to be like you
I've just got to be yours

That is my prayer.

So tonight while I go to sleep I will pray that I am made more like Jesus and that when I awake I will be closer to being like Him. I will also pray that my heart will be stronger and that I will not be hurt so easily knowing that others also speak out of hurt.

And, at the same time, I am going to try to find a bandaid, just for fun.

Love and sweet dreams to all,

46 Lessons of Life

2009-06-03T11:43:00.003-05:00

Received from an email!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion, today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Like driving, slow down, look both ways and yield a little. You do not always have to be first.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift
46. Do a good deed everyday. Open a door, remember to say "thank you", smile, let someone in your lane of traffic. You may not know what effect it will have on them but it will make you feel better about yourself.

Make today beautiful!

Love,

Reading, Writing and 'Rithmetic

2009-05-20T22:15:00.005-05:00

Back to school!

I am back to school after a month off. I will say that the first year as a new old student has had it's challenges. It definitely has been a new experience! It's completely different this time around for many reasons.

For one, I'm not living in a dorm.
Secondly, I'm doing "learning" thing online. My school is in another state. My teacher is myself, and my books are mainly online.
I work full time.
I don't live in a dorm. I don't have 40 other crazy girls living in the same hallway with me.

The thing is, despite the differences, despite how much work it is, despite the stress, despite all of the differences I love doing what I'm doing now. I love being a student again and learning. AND I am excited about the direction that I am going.

Things I will keep in mind this year back to school:

Staying up late + Getting up early= Cranky Stephanie. I need to go to bed earlier (and sleep longer, hahaha!)
Worry incessantly about whether or not you passed a test is not a good way for a person to spend the weekend. Plus, I'm pretty sure worrying can cause ulcers. It can also cause violence. I have been threatened that the next time I say I failed a test I will be beaten. This next time around I will do not say anything about failing. I cannot guarantee that I won't think it, but if I don't say it, that's at least a start, right?
The Nez Perce tribe is from the Pacific Northwest. I don't know why I need to remember that, but I apparently, months later, still do.

Other news:

I have signed up to help my new church in the children's department. It's a scary thought, and I'm nervous, but at the same time I am really excited again at the thought of working with the kids.
No, my floor in my apartment is not completed. Yes, my stove is on my counter top. No, I've not had a tantrum again. Yes, I will be glad when it's done. In the words of my friend Karen, "In light of everything, this is a small thing."
This weekend I'll be headed to the land of my Alma Mater. Of course, my real purpose in driving to Missouri involve my friends who at one point asked me to be their friend "Til death do we part!" (I said yes of course!)

A Grown Up Tantrum and A New Perspective

2009-05-19T20:53:00.005-05:00

The saga began a little over three weeks ago. To make it simple, my water heater grew a leak which grew a puddle- which grew a bigger puddle- which grew to ruin the entire floor in the downstairs of my apartment- which grew to a brand new water heater. Whew. Quite the saga.

That series of events took my down quite the road which led me down a path of, frustration, anger, a friend's house, a few nights in a hotel, anger, much yelling, and finally, acceptance.

I am no longer afraid to admit that I am a home body. I have not always been this way, but rather have grown into this person over the last few years. I have in the past enjoyed being gone all day, going on trips, staying in hotels, with friends, away, away, away. But now, I love the solace of being home. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy seeing friends, and going places, but at the end of the day, I enjoy my home.

Last Sunday, I arrived at my apartment, fully expecting to be able to go in and settle in for a peaceful evening. I was wrong. And then the tantrum happened.
The tantrum thrower: Me
The location: My car
Why was there a tantrum: I wanted to be home. My home. My apartment. My TV. My shower. My bed. Mine. Mine. Mine. And yet, there was no going home.
What did the tantrum involve: Yelling and yelling. Aimless Driving. Yelling. Feet stomping and Fists pounding the floor--- (Well I exaggerated that last part. I was driving after all.)

Then I was hit with some more unpleasant news. I had no choice. I would not be getting what I wanted. Of course, I had to calm down. And quickly. When you are three you don't worry about blood pressure, but when you are in double digits and you are operating heavy machinery, it's best to remain calm.

It was in the following few minutes that I had to make a decision. I had help getting to that point. Someone quickly, yet wisely told me (yes my mom), "Stephanie, you don't have a choice. You do not get what you want."

Have any of you ever tried to reason with a three year old? Now, I'm not a mother, but as a friend, and a childrens' pastor, and someone who's been around children my whole life, I have. I have tried to reason with a child, an elementary school child, even teenagers. However, I learned over time, that reasoning doesn't really work unless the person wants to be reasoned with. How many three-year-olds really care why they cannot have what they don't want? That'd be zero.

I, being (forceably, mind you, not by choice) a grown up, have the ability to listen to reason and make choices. And while, I did not really care why, I could not have what I wanted, I had to decide to accept what was being handed to me. I knew that I had to accept my circumstances. No amount of yelling and wailing, moaning and sighing would get the work in my apartment done any quicker.

Isaiah 26:3 says, "The LORD gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm." (CEV) Some may consider it strange that I clung to the words in that vese just because of a small apartment issue. But, I did cling to these words because as I was driving down the road, peace was no where near my passenger seat, and I really needed to find it!

I was reminded again when I spoke to one of my friends who recently lost her home to a fire. She and her husband lost everything, save but a few items. The words she spoke to me have stuck with me and I have played them over and over in my mind since she said them.

"Stephanie, we lost our possessions, our computers, tvs, clothes, all of our possessions, but I know that God will take care of us...I know that He has a plan for my life, and I'm excited."

Makes a cement floor and a stove displaced upon a counter top not really all that important, don't ya think?
Love you all,

From the Archives

2009-05-18T21:45:00.003-05:00

Once again I found some writing from my high school creative writing course- It reminds me of summer.

A Woman Beautiful
A
Woman
Beautiful
Sat admiring
The beauty of the sun's rays
While on the grass below a man watched
The lovely lady smiling at the beauty
Of the wondrous sight in front of her,
And the man longed to whisk her
Away from the world
To love her
Through all
Time.
SRH, September 21, 1995

Apartment Chaos and a Clean-er on Edge

2009-05-04T19:45:00.003-05:00

If you know me, then you must know that this is putting me on edge:

Blogging Sabatical

2009-04-30T21:23:00.005-05:00

I have been MIA for a month now. I thought that during this month off of school I would avoid, as much as possible, spending hours and hours on the computer. Soon enough, May 4th to be exact, I will begin the daily life of a college student-- while the life of a college student who doesn't live in a dorm, go to classes, or receive care packages from home. (Although.... I still enjoy fresh baked goods and fun surprises in my mailbox- if you would like to send me a package let me know! I'll send you my address!)

What have I been doing over the last month? Let me tell you.

Cleaning:
Dishes

Vacuuming

(Looks like I missed a spot!)

Dusting
Washing windows
Organizing
Oh- yeah washing walls and squishing water out from under my floor boards.

Reading:
Books
Blogs
Magazines

Activities:
Playing piano
Practicing sign language
Making cards
Exercising

Friends and Family:
On the phone
In Indiana
In Illinois

Weddings

(This is my mom doing her famous trick. Yes, I do think it's cool, but I can't take her anywhere! And I really wanna understand how it works!)

Birthday parties
Movies

Next up -in four days- it'll be BACK to the BOOKS! Don't let that scare you. For those of you who know how wack-o I went during this last term, I'm pretty sure that won't happen again. I will NOT be taking 18 credits again, but rather sticking to 12. I also have trips planned, movies to see, dinners to attend, songs to sing...you get the picture.
I think I'm ready!

A Cafe Girl and A Bottle of Shampoo

2009-03-29T12:30:00.002-05:00

In college I was a "cafe girl." I worked there from my second semester in college until I graduated. I did it all. At one point or another, I opened in the morning, ran the food lines, washed trays, scrubbed pots and pans, and then I hit the glory spot. I was the "Cook's Assistant." Some nights I would have to make hundreds of pancakes and grill hundreds of hamburgers, fry chicken strips and fries (I fry the best fries), but other nights, it was a breeze.

I have been taught from the time I was young that I take what I earn and I give a part to God. I had been taught that when you give, God gives back. And, while we don't just give to get, He would take care of us. The thing is, God always had taken care of me, I had my mom and dad across from me, in the same house! But now, I was in college. On my own. Many, many many hours from home. And, I was running out of things I needed to survive on a daily basis. I'm not even referring to things even like hairspray or a new sweater, but real things of necessity, like you know, soap and shampoo. I was in a panic.

The time came though that I was going to be asking for help. That night I called home and said, "I'm beginning to smell." (Not really, I wasn't that bad yet.)
"Oh Steph." That's what my mom said. But I knew they'd help.

This is where the best part of the story comes in to play. My friend's parents were in town. They had driven in on Sunday and I was going to be meeting them Monday night. I'd like to re-emphasize, they left Indiana on Sunday morning, a whole twelve hours before I called home.

Monday I met up with the family, and they told me they had some things for me from my family. When I met them at their van they pulled out a big grocery bag- the brown paper kind- and what would you expect to be in it. Shampoo. Hairspray. Conditioner. Soap. Everything I was running out of. Everything I needed.

When I think about this now, I am reminded that the God then, is still the same today. Some of you might say God had nothing to do with it, it was my parents, but oh He did. My mom and dad had no idea I was struggling at that moment, but God knew all along. Some might say it's coincidence, but I believe that a lot more than coincidence happened that day. It was not fate or chance. It did not just happen by chance that I received just what I needed at the exact time I needed it.

Matthew 6:33, 34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Just Call Me REE

2009-03-26T19:49:00.007-05:00

Bear with me as I tell you a story.

I have a friend who seemed to have the need for a new middle name. I started calling her Lou. It seemed appropriate given her first name. Along the way she decided that I needed a new name too. So, she took my middle name (Rene'e) and started calling me Ree. Six years later, here we are still Lou and Ree.

Not too long ago I started wondering if "Ree" meant anything. Surely, it wasn't a real name. Surely, it meant something, had some type of a definition. I decided to do what any normal, reasonable, grown up person would do- I Google'd the name, my name.

I must admit that I was very pleased when I found this. I must ALSO admit that I was a little surprised as well. Who knew that Ree would mean exactly what it did. I have on many occassion been called, "a little goofy," "weird," "strange," etc, but "Rare Earth Element?" Rare implies something new that I never thought of before. Rare implies that I am Unique. Unique implies that I am Exceptional. Matchless. Irreplaceable. And since I live on the earth and made it through elementary school- this fits. Ahhhh... I like that. Yes, I like being Ree.

Aren't we all a little in need of knowing we are like Lutetium? (This one sounded very cool, plus who doesn't like Paris?)

It has of course, taken me quite a while to accept that My Lou isn't the first one to give me the name Ree. By now if you read this blog at all you know that I am talking about God. God, whom I have known all my life, has been speaking to me in different ways over the last few months. Ways that I never let Him before. In saying that, I am saying that He has shown me how with a PURPOSE he made me. He knew my name before my parents knew I was on my way. He knew the laugh that He would give me. He knew that I would have a strange sense of humor and that I would find my own jokes hilarious even when everyone else would look at my with strange expressions. He knew and He made me this way on purpose.

And you know what, I'm a fan of whatever He has in mind for me. I don't quite know all of the plans yet, but I'm a fan.

It's me, just me.
You can call me Ree.

Hide-n-Seek

2009-03-23T21:54:00.003-05:00

I am currently sitting at my desk at work, on lunch, hunched down low and hoping that no will come looking for me. I'm crunching on my nachos from the downstairs cafe, pretending that they are from Salsaritas. I'm remembering my relaxing weekend, and looking forward to (already) the weekend that lies ahead. I am, in effect, hiding. Hiding from co-workers (I was, however, just found, multiple times actually.) Hiding from reality of my lunch. Hiding, however ineffectively, from the start of a new work week. I hide quite a bit. Hide and wish away today and hope for tomorrow which won't come nearly fast enough. And, at the end of the day, I'll go home to my quiet place, where I find peace and quiet and alone-ness.

I also hide my heart. The dark part. The parts that people would cause people to shutter if they saw first hand. The side that threatens to overtake me on a daily basis. Yesterday, the pastor at my church talked about this very situation. He said, "Look at your neighbor, and tell them your worst "sin"." There were many people who started talking immediately before he yelled, "Kidding! Don't do it!" I myself sat there without saying anything, not because I have no sins but because I was trying to think of what would be the worst. The piece of candy that I found on the floor of the store when I was three? (Yeah, I ate it.) My attitude? Maybe. The way I've treated people. Perhaps? But, I think most of all, my worst sin is a combination of all that is laying hidden in my heart so that no one can see it- hypocrisy. "Oh, but you are so sweet!" And, I have had people say that, but they don't see me as I roll my eyes and make a face at something that someone did. Or, they don't know the attitude that I've had, the impatient, rude attitude when someone "bothers" me, or makes me wait when I am in a hurry. I am---hiding. And yet, try as I might, there is someone who still sees me as I am crouching in my "hide-n-seek" position.

He can see my heart, and the black that is there. And, as of late, I've wanted to have a painting done over the black and have it covered the purest shade of white. But I can't hold the paintbrush. In the past, when I've tried to paint over the stain, I've managed to cause streaks, and instead of a pearly white, I have a gray mess. The paintbrush has to be relinquished to someone else, who has the ability to not cover up, but make white from the inside out.

And so I sit in the secret place, in quiet, and I'm asking God to look at this heart of mine and too make me new. To make the appearance of the outside the truth on the inside, and not the other way around.

He is the only one who can make me new.

And, I think I plan on playing on the real hide-n-seek going forward. Who wants to join?

Psalm 51:7
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Matthew 23:27
...You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.

Isaiah 1:18
Come now, let us reason together...though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow...

Thinking again

2009-03-12T22:36:00.007-05:00

Tonight I just used one of those giant Ziploc bag things that you suck the air out with a vacuum cleaner. This has gotta be one of the best inventions. I wanna put everything in a bag so I can use this.
I'm gonna shove the bag of clothes under my bed now.
I almost fell down my stairs. Yes, it happens almost every day. My carpet is slickery on my stairs. I think I should buy one of those electric chair things that you attach to a staircase bannister. Then I could ride up on my chair without worrying about falling off.
I only have 2 more papers and one test (which I take on Saturday). After that I am going to take just a month off and I am back to work. I also will not take more than 12 hours a term. This might be for everyone else's sanity more than my own. For those of you who have been supportive, encouraging and given me the kick I need, Thanks.
I've packed my coats away. (They're in the bag that I'm shoving under my bed.) I am doing this in demonstration of good faith that warm weather is coming. If you happen to see me wearing 5 sweatshirts and 5 pairs of socks, you'll know why.

I leave you with this quote: (From a bumper sticker)
"Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate."
That's a good word right there.

Tackle it Tuesday- Encouraged by Jenilee

2009-03-10T18:51:00.006-05:00

My friend Jenilee has been posting about "Tackle it ---day" and I decided today was the day!
I have always found "under the sink" to be scary. It doesn't matter where it is, kitchen, bathroom, my house, your house, "under the sink" is a freaky place. All that being said, the cabinet under my kitchen sink has been a catch all for who knows what. I haven't wanted to spend too much time down there. Today, however, I was inspired. Within 5 minutes I found extra trash bags, and household cleaner- all ready to be used! Not only that, but some rather old and unwanted items found there way OUT THE DOOR!

Five minutes and the scariness is gone!
Under the sink, not so scary now!
Thanks for the motivation Jen!!!

Clean sink (bathroom)

New cleaners (new found anyways!)

Trash- not the shoes of course!

Happy Face!!

Vacationing

2009-03-08T22:28:00.004-05:00

This last week I had a week off work to vacation. You may all now be leaning forward to find out the exciting details of my fascinating week.

What did my week look like:

*Bought a desk*Drove to Indiana*Saw family*Slept*Saw friends at wedding shower (Yay for Tina!)*Visiting old memories*Essenhaus with friends from high school*Family times*Sleeping*Cooking*Talking*Sleeping*Breakfast at Angelos (With Tina!)*Driving to Chicago*Sleeping*Homework*Cleaning*Homework*Sleeping*Homework*Cleaning*Babysitting (fun kiddo love)*Picking up desk (Thanks friends!)*Cleaning*Homework*Cleaning*Chilis*Homework*Cleaning*Basketball game (Way to go Hayley and Nick!)*Cookies and hamburgers*Cleaning*Homework*Lunch with Tracy*Movie*Homework*
And now sleep, and then back to work!

It was in fact a week that I have been needing for quite a while!

Other things to note:

I have been working on finishing all my general ed classes. This past week I wrapped up my math class assignments. This next week I'll be finishing my social science class with an assessment next Saturday. I'm going to do my best to not moan about failing, although there is always that possibility. Next up I will be starting the Master's classes. After a quick break of course.
I love my new desk. The adventure really was in getting it up into my room. The spiral stairs are not conducive to moving furniture. That means, it goes over the balcony! The scariest part was getting the old one out. Not like I really did a whole lot, but I tried to be supportive and encouraging. I did hold onto a piece of the desk as it rested precariously on the side of the balcony.
Where does dust come from? I mean I know, but seriously how does it accumulate so quickly? If only dusting once could mean dusting forever.
Nancy Drew- oldies but goodies. I still love her. And when I grow up I have plans to be just like her. I've said it before, but she's smart and savvy and yet, stylish.
The Thirteenth Tale- One of the most amazing books I have ever in my life read. I will be buying it.
1:30 am. Perfect time for paper writing!

If only every week was vacation!